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[ she made herself a promise ]

she made herself a promise
and she broke it
ten times digitally

riding the cables
of the underground
railroad of love

armed with sweet
irrationality

blazing hearts
and screens
with vigor

pixel-ed promises
kiss the miles away

transcontinental
whispers -
recklessly
wanting to believe

throwing around
abbreviated desire disguised
as genuine passion

cutting notches
on a mouse pad

she types out
theory-shined truth and
fancy interpretations

of who she might have been

 

had she ever been
anybody


Author notes

yeah.....if your confused... I am too....I dont write free verse for this very reason, lol. BUT....thanks for reading my little experiment!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Ellis gold member
    November 29
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Phew -- Boo Hiss

    Lock all free verse forever
    in the bottom of the baggage car
    of the transcontinental railway of love
    and blow up the train.

    Tiki Cat
    Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
    "Free Poetry on the Can"

    • jamiedoring gold member
      November 29
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      LMAO .....ok, ok I will stick to rhyming! Thanks for all your reads, seriously much appreciated....when Im not ata work I will return the favor.

  • loveisfreedom
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Interesting but now I am confused too lol. Still it was a good one I liked the way it moved 'blazing hearts and screens with vigor''. Beautiful lines Keep it up you are awesome.

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Jamie!

    Where did this come from? ... It's so sad
    Done very, very well... hope it's about someone else, either literally or 'someone' now well in the past.

    Sol


  • jaded afterhours
    September 29

    Edit | Reply

    awesome.

    you say you're no good at free verse? i beg to differ. i think this is really really great. it's deep and i can relate in my own sort of way...you really do have a way with words.


  • BehindTheShadow gold member
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for sharing this little experiment, you might think you don't do fv well, but honey, you can pull anything off, this here is proof. Great piece, no surprises there.


  • SilverQ
    September 27

    Edit | Reply

    Great poem

    Kinda confusing...but has good flow for a free verse. Keep up the good work.

    ~Need comments on my poems, thanks~

  • sammiewizzle
    September 27
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is really good. its relatable. bravo.

  • Perdu
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow. there is something about this that is absolutely sensational. And I get this.... I'm not tooooooo confused, lol.

    "she types out
    theory-shined truth and
    fancy interpretations

    of who she might have been

    if she had ever been
    anybody"


    woooooooooooooowza!!!!!!

  • Cherry Moon
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Despite the fact that you say you don't write free verse, I think this is a beautiful write. It is unique and touching, and has a sorrow about it that is expressed perfectly through the simple verse:

    "cutting notches
    on a mouse pad
    she types out
    theory-shined truth and
    fancy interpretations
    of who she might have been
    had she ever been
    anybody"

    Thanks so much for sharing it, and well done on a lovely write.

    Best wishes always,
    Katie


  • CanadianGirl1
    September 27

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!

    Yes this is definitely different for you, but I like it, and I like that you went with it. So keep it up all right?! Great Write


  • brandicimo
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write! I agree with Paloszoo, it defently sounds like an internet relation or whatever gone wrong. Perhaps the relationship caused her to gain self-esteem and then when it went wrong it threw her back into depression (maybe even more so).

    I loved the poem, it was easy to read and full of depth -- even if it was unintentional! Of course, some of the best poems are like that! =D
  • dillpickle62
    September 27

    Edit | Reply

    I like!

    This is great! Excellent, always a look forward to my favorite little poet. ...And you are somebody alright. I know this.
    Don't stop, keep'em coming. I enjoy every pour from your poetic pitcher of poetry. - Dill


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    It appears you do write FV!

    This reads very well!

    And I like the contents too.

    Keep it up but not at the expense of "proper poetry"

    . Rewarded 4

  • Still Gonna Shine
    September 27
    Edit | Reply
    i like.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like virtual love gone wrong. And if I'm right, I'm sure many readers will be able to relate. The read was an enjoyable one, though it oozed with sadness! Great job!

  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh - I so look forward to new works from you. This one has tinges of sadness & I hope that I've read too much into it. You have always been somebody. Even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes.

    Much love, sister!

1 - 18 of 18