Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Bedroom Tornado Aftermath

I collapsed on top of you
and rested my weight

for a while...
muffled a smile
moaned as you gave me a kiss
I could get used to this
lying beside you
our bodies glistening
on the new red carpet
of your bachelor pad
with a hint of sweat,
a canvass of aftersex -
my dress somewhere,
underwear scattered
car keys, high heels...
a collage of what was

slipped off in a hurry-

I stood up and slowly
put your
blue shirt on.

 

Anna Lee

1, oct '08

 

Author notes

cause a little work on the carpet needs to be done ...

 

 

 "g"

 

Thank you Ms Tara Wilson...ardentMarch for the revision...

In a list

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • poeticweaver gold member
    December 2
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!!

    Wowzzzzers!!!
    That got me heated, because you this piece!
    I like how you do what you do when you do best!
    Mucho Love, Timothy aka poeticweaver~ xo xo xo


  • usefuldistraction
    November 24
    Edit | Reply
    Well, here is an exciting meteorlogical affliction, the aftermath...very sensual!


  • ConjurerCaptainTam
    November 22
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    [Bedroom Tornado Aftermath]

    you could not have made a more realistic image

    lovely

  • bigperm gold member
    November 8
    Edit | Reply

    wow I see the divide in profiles.lol

    this is great imagery. A strong solid write.


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      November 8
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Jason,

      Thank you and also for the clappies, glad you got some laughs over here lol

      Anna Lee

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    November 8
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done!! This had just the right amount of everything for a great pome, well done. Best to you

  • camus
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow - the other side of you. It "glistens" just like you lol. Nice to know you have a darker, spirited side that exudes excitement. It's in those eyes Anna ! It's definitely in those sexy eyes.


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    once, I found my bra hanging on the Christmas tree...LOL....so I have totally experienced this poem before...
    "a canvass of aftersex" - I love that=)

    I really like this, you have a lot of great imagery, and a good sensual story & title...

    how open are you to editing suggestions?=)


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      October 6
      Edit | Reply
      there are also some funny details I didn't include I guess when you're at the heat of the moment...just have to laugh about it after.

      Thank you, I'd be happy to have someone to help me...very open to suggestions...

  • KayJay silver member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    Perfect! You've captured the fun and spontaneity of the moment… the aftermath of lust fulfilled. A great poem that rings honest and lets us laugh as we see ourselves thru your words. Excellent poem, Anna… a pure slice of humanity.
    Ken


  • Yemassee silver member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oops I walked into the wrong theater...

    I feel like a fish out of water here, lol.

    MariGoes told me something I could write here but it is exceedingly crude...something no gentleman would ever say in a comment! She's a morally depraved woman, that Goes lady!

    If this is real, congrats.


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      ooops I think I was caught red handed lol

      Hmm, what did she tell you? you can im it to me haha

      Thank you Sir Yem and for the comment. I've ask his permission to write this, um with his new carpet




      • Yemassee silver member
        October 3
        Edit | Reply
        Oh my, what was it? Something about laying down carpet, it wasn't a thing a guy says to a lady without getting his faced slapped. lol

        I shall never ask her for help on commenting on an erotic poem again!


        • ariazephyrzoe gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          lol, I'm quite a goof at this style of writing. I end up sounding funny... Thank you again, for the msg.

  • MariGoes silver member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Wait, that kind of hot sex happens when work on carpet must be done? I'm going to buy a carpet today!
    Rolling and climbing and more rolling on carpet might leave the back sore, so be sure the carpet is a very fluffy one.
    This is a steamy, sensual...forget the steamy, IT IS A HOT poem!

    And hey ho, since when being a girl is pretty ugly? (your list thing)

    Keep on rock and rolling on carpets dear Anna, I know I would if I could


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Mari...writing something like this is a bit new to me (a feeling of pretty ugly though, lol)

      rock and roll on carpet...never thought of that, that way lol, this might become a habit


  • Ken-Maverick gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Ooooooh
    Hahahahaha
    Very hot very steamy indeed Anna
    now you gotta clean the carpet?, lol
    thats a classic

    Excellent write my friend

    Ken

1 - 22 of 22