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Saturday

A moonlit walk, a perfect night, the stars' conspiracy;
I thought that I was happy all alone.
A half-heard laugh, a new born smile, to end complacency
In forty yards I found that I had grown.
You changed my mind, you changed the world, you changed my history.
By asking me the way to go you changed the whole of me.

A riverside, an Autumn mist, I said I'd lead the way,
Beneath the moon we walked and talked at night.
We never reached the friend you sought, we walked to meet the day
And then we stopped to watch the morning light.
Your lips, my lips, your hands and mine, we lost the way we were.
I never dreamed that days like this were fated to occur.

I met you on a moonlit night and now the moon is ours;
She takes us out for walks and pours our wine.
We stand inside her perfect light and wile away the hours,
Yours is the only heart that's truly mine.
Two lonely souls who fell in love, two lives that touched by chance,
A meeting missed, a meeting made and now an endless dance.





Author notes

I found you on a walk in moonlight

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Rashida
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    "We never reached the friend you sought, we walked to meet the day"

    This line just keeps running through my head. Its beautiful and poignant and I adore it. I can't even face the rest of the poem I'm still caught up in this beautiful image.

  • Dorick
    October 8
    Edit | Reply
    Great job, I liked the second stanza best.

    It was the line,
    We lost the way we were...
  • beautiful
    [nothing left to say.]


  • ronnica
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    An inspirational first stanza, I loved the flow of it, all its softness and the easy way it falls in love.


  • belencia silver member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    aw, i just plain love this . love the bit of intertextuality to your other poem, and Lane haiku

  • this is amazing!

    as a night-walker myself, i can relate to the beauty of, and you immagery is simply stunning! the romantasism of the hole thing is so beautiful! applause!

  • Topnotchsy
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is simply stunning. Saw it in the "in the spotlight" section on the front page, and it did not disappoint. One of the most enjoyable, vivid pieces I have read in a really long time. Thanks for sharing this piece.


  • jcat gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    This was just beyond what mere words I could use to describe!! This is the thing that inspires me to be a better writer.....I am in awe.....

  • trekkergirl silver member
    October 7
    Edit | Reply
    ohhh I can see why this one won a trophy very well written. Good job.


  • Symphony
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Awh, this was very pretty to read; nicely composed. Sounds like a magical walk in the moonlight to be sure

  • Dalaney gold member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    the love affair you have with the 'moon' is so inspirational, so silky soft and sensuous. thank
    you, Poet, for this lovely lovely entry. Love, Lane
  • Alpha-Q
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. I was expecting something about the Bay City Rollers... but this is good, too.


  • Just Mercedes
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    This flows beautifully, resonant and romantic, just a big *SIGH!*

  • Eusebius
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    So lovely and just about as romantic as they come! A superb poem most deftly spun by your accomplished Muse! Loved it! bravo...

    . Rewarded 4


  • ScarletFox
    October 3
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent.

    very touching, you did a great job with this poem. Keep up the Great Work.


  • Azgar
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    This would easily make a most enchanting song. Added to my all time favourites
  • tiltedhalos
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    This has a very special sincerity to it. It's genuinely romantice and tells a sweet story. I love the last two lines. They're perfect. Great write!

    . Rewarded 4


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    Such a fabulous write here

    Even you words of this love dances across the page as a soft waltz and brings the readers along indeed

    . Rewarded 4

  • This is incredible!! I love it so sweet sentimental and romantic!! You did a very excellent job with this!!! You are amazing!! You gave great details and description!! You have wonderful imagery!! This is such a beautiful write!!! This is magnificent!! I LOVE IT!!

  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply

    Smooth

    Like a pair of silk pajamas! very well written, good luck in the contest.


  • jadedsnapdragon gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    great piece!


  • rbruce gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    What a magical story. This poem flows beautifully and I can find no faults at all. You are to be congratulated on a fine piece of writing. A lovely story, told so well.

    . Rewarded 4


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    October 2
    Edit | Reply
    not saying a word. Just leaving.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Made for you, wasn't it!

    "Half-heard" is a single, compound adjective, and should be hyphenated. Good news - I can't find a single instance of "'til".

    Greenian.

1 - 29 of 29