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that's what...

Missing image
So what, when the moon don't rise
so what, when birds don't fly, so what
when my baby cries, so, so what
when the music dies, and I bleed
from my need for something blue

on the corner, a pale dim light
droppin ash down the alley, shiny flash
in the night, was it her grin, the mess I'm in
on the corner, I hear the horn
wailin' until mornin' about what?
so what...

new day, not the same ol' ways
black dove learned to rise above
so what, so so what, let the rain
fall on me, sweet sweet water,
and music sings something just for me
sayin' so what, for sho'...

so what, time gonna come
when we all stand up, sayin' so what
so...so what. 



Author notes

Art credit: MySpace.com - swaggy davis jr.
jpg www.myspace.com

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • GreySquirrel gold member
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully evocative, sweet and sad.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    'Skid, thank you for this one. It has a feel of being directly related to the music. Can I suggest that you edit ever-so-slightly? Not all of the words you have truncated from "-ing" to "-in'" have the apostrophe for the missing "g", and you need a space in "ol' ways".

    • Peteskid gold member
      October 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Mairi-
      for your comments and all- but especially the edits, yes this was an impression from the video and the musical sentences and phrases I heard... I think back and the lingering impression now was not the beats, but the faces Miles and 'Trane...thanks for bringing us a wonderful moment of music to remember...'skid

  • Ronald Wiseman gold member
    October 5

    Edit | Reply

    Hi!

    Brilliant jazz piece, PK.
    If one did not know it, one would assume that "so what" is a mantra of yours so well adopted and adapted to the purpose of the poem and its theme.
    Ron.


    • Peteskid gold member
      October 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you-

      I went as Mairi suggested to the performance piece, and it was indeed an inspiration...watching and hearing the legends of cool jazz ...Miles and Coltrane...oh, my!...PK

  • MariGoes silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has such an intense rhythm and powerful images.
    You created something that many people can identify to, and in different ways.
    Well done h


  • Tirrell
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    We all see something different in this music, and this leaves me a smile. This is highly enjoyable, I like the depth of repition, and the imagery and characterazition really make this one sing. Well done.


  • paulcreates silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I had just started my entry to this contest when I saw yours posted. A fine entry indeed. I had to let those dulcet tones roll around in my head a while to come up with ideas. You've certainly pegged the prompt here. I like the stutter-stepped "so, so" that suggests the syncopation wonderfully. The tongue skips effortlessly down through this. I dig. Groovy man!

    Paul

1 - 8 of 8