I wish that all the world would give up fighting
All violence is such a foolish notion
It seems to stem from negative emotion
Much better used as stimulus for writing
Although a verse may not be as exciting
Sometimes it sooths more surely than a lotion
And often causes feelings of devotion
That doesn't leave a flash point for igniting
The poets of the past could calm a nation
With songs that stirred to loving not to hating
You cannot build the world with raw damnation
The negatives get too much overstating
Just give the best you see some strong inflation
And every one you meet will start elating
Author notes
Hendacsyllabic feminine rhymed Italian sonnet
A contest entry
- Serious Fun with Sonnets - II by Peripatetic.
1500 points, ended October 14, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There is a poignancy to this with its innocent hopefulness in a violent, cynical world.
However, I wonder if the poet is not being ironic if not outright satirical with this, for poets have stirred nations to war as often as they have calmed the beast in individual hearts.
Still, the first quatrain and lines 11 & 12 deliver the hope and admonition which are the point even of the possible satire. The final 2 lines point us in the direction we ought to go, even if it is just one individual heart at a time.
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Such a lovely message and very important to always remember that peace is the better way to live life. I like the idea of letting a fight be on paper only and not where people get killed and hate spreads. WTG good luck in the contest
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good message cricketjeff...
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well said. many wish this.
Good luck in the contest.
Love Tory
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I am letting the -otion/-ation and -ation/ating and -iting/-ating rhymes work on me a little. I don't think they're 100% convincing, and would have been happier with rhymes that were a wee bit more distant from each other, but this is 100% Greenian, very well-constructed, and worth three varmints.
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The octet I wrote about a week ago and have totally failed to provide a sestet, not happy with what I did tonight but the contest is coming to an end. I am rarely happy with all feminine rhymed poetry, but it is a good exercise I think.
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If you want a formula for feminine rhymes, try my nine-to-a-line ("Marshalline") pattern. Our minds tend to run along predictable lines when we try to think of feminine words for rhymes. It behoves us to make a notebook of such words, in order to stretch our word power, I think.
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