When dreams, half-heard, were all the hopes I had
And love a rumour from a foreign land.
There didn't seem a reason to be sad
The best of life I could not understand.
Before we met I did not know my mind,
Could never have believed what I now know.
For then my life was surely all behind
A memory of passion long ago.
But life was changed in words from far away
I've learnt the subtle skills of happiness
I welcome things I dreaded yesterday
I used to dream of love I now possess
My love you make me whole and show me how
To find the paradise in here and now
Author notes
I couldn't go to sleep without writing something!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I knew you really liked me... but this...
jeff...I think the sleep depravation is finally getting to you... -
Beautifully done. Your love poems are the best.
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This poem is superb (one of your best in my humble opinion) a brilliant economy of words! I loved it! It also made me think of CS Lewis and his discovery of love late in life. Again a brilliant poem.
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A fine sonnet
which demands a reading that is song-like, harking back to the true sonnetto. Yet you have 14 lines of perfect iambic rhythm in this work with both a well-formed volta and rhymed couplets, to boot.
And, this love poem is 'Paradise Enow'.
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Nice One, Jeff.
I really do like the song-like quality of this piece.
Just two queries - in the 2nd line of the second stanza, should it not be "could ever have believed..." rather than "...never have believed..."? And, in the last line of the third stanza: "I used to dream of a love I now possess" (i.e. the "of" should be added)?
Just a thought, but - once again - well done, mate. Jimmy
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Fixed the third stanza, thank-you
The second, I think can be read two ways, I wrote the first two lines as two separate statements, you have read them as an enjambment, I've put a comma in to see if that helps. I'll think about your reading to see if I prefer it, thanks as always for reading, appreciation from one of the best is especially welcome. -
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Right - the comma does the job. Without it you seemed to be using a double negative ("did not know my mind could never..").
Cheers, jimmy
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You ought to miss sleep more often. OK so all the rhymes are fairly obvious, but it's a good sonnet, perfectly structured.
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Welcome to Paradise, where normally the doors never close. This is exceptional stuff.
Love
Tory
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