There is always Japan to run to.
Nearly four years and I still find myself under him.
His weight is more than I can squirm beneath. Penetrating soul;
and like may flies, the only way to separate is to cheat on him with the bony hips of death. Since he'll never make me his only lover, he shouldn't care.
(but men always do)
At least living on the other side of this collapsed world, I'd finally be an outsider on the outside too. An alien illegal, living in a single room with a rice cooker sitting quietly by itself.
I'll eat raw fish in public.
Bow down in kimono dress of sakura flowers,
making men tea at work.
So the only way they can toss me back across the border, would be to throw my body out to sea. Out to liquid-y depths, wide toothy lines of water color blue sharks with mouths patiently open, their endless hunger so like my own.
(because this, at least, I understand)
And so it would seem that these are my dreams.
Cherry bloom petals in brushed pink, falling down into a world of ancient tradition and feelings. Where what is real and what was only fable, still twine hands and play elementary games together on afternoon school yards.
Where everyone watches animation and cries anime tears because you never really have to lose your childhood self on the tatami mats of your old bedroom.
This is why I write everything on rice paper now. This is why my dreams are fading through calligraphy.
Blank white paper screams into the night and I am frightened,
of what could be said while I am only silent.
The refusal, alienated alien, a single bone left lying forgotten by the blue green running seams of shark teeth;
lost to the bottom of a Japanese ocean
(where one day you may pour a glass of tap water and drink of me)
Author notes
...
In a list
A contest entry
- prose contest. by evil tempest.
875 points, ended November 1, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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really nice
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i am so glad you entered my contest, i am pretty sure you have fogotten who i am or you had no clue about my new account(perhaps the latter reason is correct).
i loved your narration and loved the images, diction and you style is absolutely poetic. there is more than sensivity, essence and maturity in such a strong poetic voice in proses, especially short ones which are more condensed with the aforementioned aspects.
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its actually a sigh of relief that finally in this contest there is a glimmer of actual talent, narration and praise worthy segments.
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ha, i am extremely attracted to you. i don't mean to relate, but you and i see people the same, though you have more elegance in explaination. I love "Where what is real and what was fable, still twine hands..." Did you mean to change tenses there? I think of that often, how we forfeit our childhoods to be more "independent".
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hmmm... i like surrealness of it... of the last line.
i liked the title.
i don't know what rice paper is. i imagine its a type of artistic paper.
i don't like japanese anime. i never have. i guess cuz i hate the way they speak and their lips either don't move or aren't synchronized right... maybe i just got used to disney cartoons... lol. or maybe anime is too adult for me.
so i like this. though its hollow and sad, yet deep... and filled...
always love the way you write.
sorry its causing you nightmares
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Quite a Wonderful Read
This was a Wonderful piece. I had to read it a couple of times to really get the feel for it. The Japanese theme is interesting... is this about a Geisha, someone afraid of finding themselves? There seem to be so many ways of reading this. The language is lovely, I really do enjoy the asides in this piece. They really add to the meaning to the main part of the poem (Shakespeare was pretty good at that sort of thing, too).
Blank white paper screams into the night and I am frightened,of what could be said while I am only silent
This has to be my favorite line in the piece.
Overall, very well done.
. Rewarded 8
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I like this very much! Its very powerful and evocative, well written too. I love all the refrences to Japan and aspects of Japanese culture and dress. I have to confess i have no idea what its actually about. Perhaps its author could shed some light? Theres a sense of lonliness,of desolation about it which i really like in poems in general. To me its about love lost and having to resign oneself to a situation which is far from ideal.
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You seem to have understood it just fine.
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oh how i love, love this.
meg
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Wow...... the imagery is amazing!!
I am so glad u r one of my FAVs. Wish I could give 6 applause!!
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You are so brilliant. There should be an alter to your brilliance where envious writers like me could worship you.
There are so many lines that I love, that hit me like a sucker punch and exploded in my mind with vivid images and layered sediments of meaning.
Comparing your hunger to that of a shark is genius. All of the Japanese images you used create such colorful tiers, and that last line is marvelous.
Have you read The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea? Because there are some pages in that book that your imagery reminds me of.
. Rewarded 8
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Beautiful. I was lost in it. I loved all the imagry. My favorite line was, "animae tears". Real ones could not be shed? The differences between two worlds could not hold this love together. You eating, "raw fish in public", showed you raw and exposed. Great metaphor. Loved it, loved it.
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This is lovely. It feels like a culmination ofa lot of your pieces. I feel as though I got more from it because a lot of your phrases refer me back to other poems, where you've explored the ideas.
the rice paper, the men at work, the fish tank idea, the japanese edge, the fishimages..
I always find your use of water interesting. . . it's something so vital to us. But it is always something that represents a state of non-living..
the 'air' in a fish tank. somethign we drown in. something we become..
I wish i understood all the japanese references. But in a way perhaps i gain just as much in my reading from the exoticism of it all. It just sounds so beautiful.. and unreal.
Is everything there fragile.. ?
I've missed your writing.
Hope you're well-
much love
jess
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Yes, I have a very complex relationship with the ocean.
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Now here is someone who can write prose. I could go on reading, very clever, and I have no nits at all.
Excellent. Esha will love this.
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Like it? No...Love it? Yes!!! Your prose always holds me spellbound. This is strong and full of images.
C
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Yep. I like it. More interesting now that I know a little bit more about this Japanese thingie.
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Metaphor, imagery, emotion rolled into woe in prose that is exquisite within its regal sadness. The Japanese theme imbued it with a sense of honour. I am hesitant re offering suggestions, a poetess like notorious would do justice with a critique. My tentative suggestions are perhaps ink may not be needed after calligraphy and perhaps "the rejected, an alien, a single bone" may possibly also work as the rejected,alienated,single bone. To say this was a pleasure to read is an understatement, I read twice and marvelled at your phraseology, intensity, the deft way you portray the isolation. Especially liked " I am frightened of what could be said when I am silent"
Kudos.
. Rewarded 8
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These were solid suggestions. Thank you.
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