It's time for goodbyes.
Simple, short, not-so-sweet.
{Why waste words again?}
Monotonous and sedentary;
{Could this really be me?}
Isn't blue supposed to calm?
These walls suffocate me;
blue and white- white and blue.
Blended together; endless seas.
{Save me from this prison!}
Crying out for freshness.
Air by sea:
Kiss in rain-
Lie in grass.
{Could it be mine?}
Choking on unsaid words.
Still can't spit them out.
{Take them away, please?}
Dulled out diamonds:
facets just don't gleam.
{Won't or don't?}
Shine again for me,
so I can learn the secret.
Clinging to maybe-
searching for what if.
{Didn't I used to be okay?}
What changed while
Earth kept on spinning?
Deep breaths.
Relax on oceanside.
{Goodbye is my second chance...}
Time to change my view;
start anew with me baby.
Vibrant blues not dulling greys.
{Are my eyes cleared?}
It was all me.
No one else.
Just me and maybe you.
{Because baby I'm nothing without you.}
No more shoes;
goodbye all restrictions.
Dance with me.
{Beneath the raindrops.}
Again we can learn to breath.
{Will I choke again?}
Oxygen is life;
life is flowing.
Severed emotions cease.
{I can breathe easy.}
{Oxygen is flowing.}
Author notes
Prompts:
Title-> Severed Oxygen
Color-> Blue
Song-> Second Chance (Shinedown)
Lyrics: http://www.mp3lyrics.org/s/shinedown/second-chance/
Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvOgRIr7ro0&feature=related
Picture-> http://mariecamin.deviantart.com/art/simple-things-31603888
Quote/Phrase-> Being happy doesn't mean that everything's perfect, it just means you've learned to look past the imperfections.
A contest entry
- 5 Prompts Per Poet :] *Challenge* by YoureNoGoodForMe.
1050 points, ended October 27, 18 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique my poems; critique my soul. Don't tear either one apart please.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Speechless....
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This was great
Your emotions were well penned and imagery strong
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I don't know why you say you hate dirty pretty when some of the things that you write seem almost as if they are written in that style
This is really good, even if it isn't finished yet.
"Monotonous and sedentary;"
"Blended together; endless seas."
I love those lines ^^
"blue and white- white and blue."
Isn't there supposed to be a space between the word "white" and the dash? I was always taught there was, but maybe overseas it's different.
Best of luck in the contest.
Forever--x
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No no no no no! I don't have t/h/i/s
a
n
d that. All in my writing!
It's totally different.
Anyway, thanks.
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Dirty pretty isn't all t/h/a/t
Ooh, I like the way you finished this, it went in a completely different direction to what I was expecting.
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Well, what I've seen is. So what is it then?
Thanks. I had fun with it. I had to give it a twist. 
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Pretty dirty things
{Because baby I'm nothing without you.}
Like that line, I've seen similar in so many DP poems
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I used the line because it was common. The things in brackets represented the thoughts of the narrator and people tend to think thoughts they've heard before. A certain line is particular to a certain type of poetry.
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Ohkay, so I absolutely LOVE this piece. Incredibly written, and you're like the only one who got the lyrics to the song & had a picture chosen for you =/ Sorry about that, haha, Allpoetry thought I was spamming Wonderful.
Anyways, onto your poem.
I love how you structured & wrote this piece, it was wonderfully penned with extravagant emotions that completely blew me away. I also loved your use of vocabulary as well. & the length worked perfectly for this poem. Very well written!
Thank you for entering
Welcome to the finalists♥
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Thank you. But it's not done yet.
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hahaha
Sorry
Tell me when it is ?
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It's finished now.
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Ohkays
Song: Second Chance by Shinedown
(lyrics: http://www.mp3lyrics.org/s/shinedown/second-chance/)
Picture: http://mariecamin.deviantart.com/art/simple-things-31603888
-Credit the artist please
Title: Severed Oxygen.
Color: Blue
Quote/Phrase: Being happy doesn't mean that everything's perfect, it just means you've learned to look past the imperfections.
Good luck
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yay! You gave me my favorite color. So, are we allowed to use any variation of the color, or just the standard color?
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It doesn't matter :]
Just keep it between dark blue, blue, & light blue
so I have enough colors for the contest. haha
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