Things Left Unsaid

There are things I haven't told you yet
stories that you haven't heard
In telling you of my life
I left a few things out
I've been pregnant four times
and miscarried each time
The first three times I didn't know
who the father was
But the last I thought I did
Reflecting back I'm not so sure
but it doesn't really matter now
I've done alot of stupid things
stealing beer and getting caught
(a two hundred dollar fine)
got caught smoking weed at school
and was expelled
then court ordered back
I graduated somehow
though I rarely went to school
except while I was dating Tim
he wanted me to graduate
which is the only reason that I did
I've smoked for 5 years
though I keep threatening to quit
though I probably never will
Being faithful in relationships
is always hard for me
although I'll do my best this time
I have a tendency
to push people away from me
so that I do not hurt them
and everytime I've pushed
the people I was pushing
left me on my own
For the past 4 years 2 months and 4 days
I've been cutting myself
I've become addicted to the pain it brings
though I do it so infrequent now
I'm trying to quit altogether
life is better when I'm not cutting
My number one pet peeve
is being told what to do or
how to feel
so please don't do it
well I think that's most
if not all
of the things I left unsaid