Your sizzling flames can’t lick my heart,
For it belongs to the roaring sea.
Dust me with your char and ashes,
But the spray of the ocean will wash ‘em away.
Your scorching words spew forth to me,
Only to be swallowed by the rising tide.
You spew fire and spite across the beach,
The ocean’s waves dissolve them again.
I won't conform like the world conforms,
I’m not malleable and I will wear black!
Author notes
I wrote this in retaliation of how my extended family is disgusted with the fact that I'm a pirate and my favorite clothes are usually in black and other dark colors. I was trying to portray my rebellion towards them, along with a pirate-ish theme (the sea counts, doesn't it?). If I can make this any better, give me your thoughts! 
Is there anything specific to improve on?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Written like a true pirate. I really liked this, it felt like it should have rhymed but it actually works really well not rhyming... if that makes sense. I especially liked the ending "I'm not malleable" good words there.
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Ah ha! I remember this. Did you change your name since I read it?
Still very good. You are very talented for your age. It's so refreshing. -
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Ah, yes, just a few weeks ago . . .
Thank you very much!
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Love this!
The sea tends to be a recurring theme for me, so this felt special. And it's like a battle cry...a vow that you shall not fade away. Makes me feel strong...I love it!
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greattt imagery! loved ur wording.. I love black too! (cz it makes u look thin)
and evryone also tells me to wear other colors..
anyways, good poem. short n succint
--DesertRose
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WOW
That created such an amazing image in my head. Just wow.I know exactly what you mean as well!
I love the first two lines. They just got me absolutely hooked.
Really clever.
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Rebel!
Nice choice of words & imagery here! Oh to be 15 again! I can identify with this completely even though it's been quite a while since I had issues resembling the ones you describe. I always liked to wear dark colors also when I was younger. I think it was because I had weight issues however, & was told that dark colors made you look slimmer! As I got older & slimmer I wanted to look trendy. Oddly enough 'clothing' was never a problem with me as a teen. Keeping to an early curfew was! If only I would have learned to rebel in my writing I might have made some real inroads by now! Then again, at your age I was playing some rhythm guitar & composing folk tunes & light pop! Good go here! So, what makes you a pirate then mate?
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I like the imagery you have put into this
It's very vivid
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I think this poem is just basically brill!!! mm i like the end note about the poem, and some of the lines are just nicley put : )
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I LOVE IT it really speaks vey powerful
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Wonderful! Very powerful metaphors...
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nice poem
Whoa neat poem. I really like the use of water and the sea in it. Water has always done weird things to me and so I love how you put that your heart belongs to the roaring sea; I really like the symbolism in that and the last line too.
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A pirate? How exactly are you a pirate?
I really like the battle of fire and water here and the idea is great. It's very smooth line to line, though the ending seems a bit abrupt. I think there may be some way you can smooth down to it.
But really, I love the way you say what will happen and what will defeat it line to line. Keep writing.
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OMG i luv pirates too (hint,hint my fav movie is pirates of the caribbean) Jack's cool my mom doesn't like that i wear dark colors sometimes too. why, i don't know, but i luv the wording nice job!
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