Loveless

"Loveless"
10.08.08

For these past 4 damn years
I've been just waiting here
For a chance to make you mine
But I was wasting my time
Cause you never were there
To love me the way I loved you
No, you just didn't care

Dying a little more each day
Your love's sending me to a lonely grave
I try to block it out, but it wont go away
Oh, how I long for a peaceful day

Yet I'd die again for you
After all that you've put me through
Though you've been too blind to see
Every single little thing
That I've ever done for you
That you've never done for me
How one simple word of you asking I'd return
Would destroy me
All I feel now is misery

All I feel is this pain deep inside
And no more feeling meaning for, no more feelings of pride
Gave it up all the times
That you used me
Broken me down & abused me

It's about time that I feel
This pain that is so real
Inflicting
I'm drifting
Wanna feel it 10-fold
My soul is so empty now, so bitter and cold

Your face it haunts me
Like demons in my sleep.
I dream about you every night
Cant seem to find the light
And they wont recede from me
God, what am I becoming?

I wish you were near me
Sometimes when I'm lonely
And at times I feel like I'm losing my sanity
But I cant even go near you without losing my cool
Afraid that I may break down & cry like a fool
All the pain that you've caused, it just wont go away
Hope your happy with this monster of which I became.

No love ever from you, or thats how it seems
Every night you are with me, there haunting my dreams
All the pain that I've felt
My life holds so much hell
Back then I was your angel?
Well this angel has long-since fell

I've already been wounded, why not just increase
All this hurt & the tension you've packed into me
See I have lived & I've died for you
Stayed up all night with you
Betrayed and I've lied for you
And now I will die for you

I used to get down on my knees each night and pray you'd be mine.
For awhile god was listening till one day things weren't fine
And you walked away, turned your back and walked out the door
But you returned, only to destroy me some more

Every moment of this,
Was all a lie wasn't it?
The pain wont go away now.
And I cant block you out
Your all I had, all I ever wanted, all I'd ever craved.
But now your gone and this pain, it just wont go away

I swear it'd be so much easier to get over you
If I didn't care so damn much about you still.
Already carved your name on my chest
The scar resides above my right breast

Why not just cut this damn heart out?
Dont need it now that I'm without
You and besides, I don't really need it
After everything you've done to it, you've consuned it

You snaked your way into my life again,
A mission to destroy me, a fight I'd never win
And now that its over I'm still suffering
While you go on with your life, I've lost everything!