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truth behind venetian blinds

my skull is seeping
through the fine layer of muscle
and into the dimensions
of my face

I am human,
my questions sent
in unaddressed envelopes
to an unapologetic shadow
of what I used to define as God

but in truth we are all
house flies
in search of a loophole
through a clear glass barrier
that drips with irony

I am human
but my pleading death-rattle
is the same as every creature
and I will die
in plain view
of the only real Eden,

cheekbones jutting into my skin
until it hangs
as transparent as God

Author notes

[for aesthete]
style cues from:
something vague
gold mine gutted
haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • nancy drew
    November 17
    Edit | Reply
    oh, que bonita! me gusta lo!


  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Personally I don't like the "I am human" repetition -

    otherwise I think the images are excellent and your final stanza simply perfect

  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    House flies, wow, I was so hoping to be a little more, but I guess that'll have to do [ for now ]
    This is everything that I'm not,
    yet I must say that I really liked it.
    I think it is a great piece of writing.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce

  • Never Fall in Love gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    "but in truth we are all
    house flies
    in search of a loophole
    through a clear glass barrier
    that drips with irony"

    Pretend you got George's [Death of the Author] comment twice - but from two different people.


  • Death of the Author
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    Right. I like this A LOT. Therefore I am only going to point out the things I don't like. Because the rest is perfect

    Actually, fuck that. I re-read it and decided I didn't not like anything. Guh, how boring!

    Love it ^-^


  • dabpunx
    October 14
    Edit | Reply
    this is my kind of write. You can see transparently.


  • Aesthete
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    I identify with this completely. A really beautiful piece... this is brutal somehow, and yet far from vulgar.. it's just simply wonderful and true. as always, congratulations on existing

  • Wrinkling Mind
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing. I seriously got a chill reading from the 3rd stanza to the 4th. The 3rd stanza is really chilling. I love the thought that we're just desperately searching for a loophole. If you search hard enough for something you will find it, but that doesn't mean that what you find will hold any truth. I love how you describe us as fly's as well. Our lives are so short and we're so small that on a cosmic scale, we literally don't even exist.

    (I didn't know you were such a great writer, well done)

1 - 8 of 8