Your big words mean nothing to me
Oh I -know- what they mean
They make you none the smarter
And you won't be able to speak
When my tongue is gagging your mouth
Let me see you try to speak of your nature
When my -propensity-
Is to silence you
With violent lust
And my own pain which I give you freely
In an overwhelming way
My love my love
You whip me with your intentions
I feed off the mixture of love and hate
But even as I treat you like my master
You are really nothing but the slave.
Author notes
As much as a couple people would like to claim that they were the inspiration for this work, I'm afriad they would be *horribly* wrong. Better luck next time.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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To revise this poem, you could only add more powerful emotions. That's not to say you should leave as is. Every and any poem can be improved, no matter how good they already are. The last four lines I liked the best, such power to you. Well done.
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The last stanza is a real punchline for the rest of the poem, emphasizing the connectedness you make between love and hate: such a fine line, sometimes with so many erasures and cross-overs that we can revel in the mixture, as you describe here. But the last two lines actually declare a bit of disdain or superiority, whether you intended this or not -- I actually like this, because it shows your freedom, your choice. Keep writing, and I will keep reading!
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Absolutely.
Love, Tom B.
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SIMPLY INCREDIBLE... left me in awe
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Brilliant!
First impressions of this poem is...dark, forceful, and sensuosly menacing. What a great pen this is! I love the.."when my -propensity- is to silence you". The last two lines add power to this poem, stated so as to leave no doubt or room for arguement. Perhaps it is simply my amature eyes but truly, I would not change a single thing. It flows freely and paints darkly vivd bold images. Yummy!
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