See with your eyes
Feel alive and free.
You have a dream
you will one day see
Dance to the music.
Let your body go.
Believe in your self
Let the rhythmn flow.
Let no one
make you frown
Never listen
if they put you down.
Like a gift
from above
Live the life
that you love!
You have so much to give.
Show the world who you are.
Only you can prove
you're a shining star.
If you take no chances,
you may never know
there's a whole world waiting
for your pride to show.
Carry your head high.
smile when you do.
Your dreams are yours
when the day is through.
I try to be as inspirational as i can, so I wrote this. Is the flow ok , or should I change some of my rhyming?
Comments
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i think the flow and rhyming is pretty spot on, except for the fourth stanza where there's an abrupt switch in the rhyming pattern.. i'm not sure if you did that on purpose, but it brings a kind of hiccup to the ease of reading when you reach it.. other than that, i think you did really well, and this is very inspirational/motivation. i enjoyed it : ) thanks for sharing.
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Thanks !
Thanks for your comment You were right about the 4th stanza so I made some changes. Again , thanks!.It helped me to take another look at this one. -
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much better
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