After everything I've ever done for you,
you turned around and stabbed me in the back.
You played your stupid games with me,
unfair rules, tormenting, confronting, restraining me,
never taking no for an answer.
My heart, mind, thoughts; racing past me in a blured haze.
I need to breathe but you don't allow it,
I feel sick yet you still perservere.
You suck the life out of me,
my confidence, trust and will to move on,
straining from your grip, wanting a release from your hold on me but nothing seems to make a difference.
My face stings from each blow it receives from your hand and my self-esteem plummets downwards with every remark that is spoken.
Too weak to refuse, the strugle lessens,
giving up is ever easy.
Continuing for what seems like hours on end, I pray it's some time soon,
and when you're done and had your fun, satisfied with your work,
you've won, once again, another point in our battle.
I lay there lifeless, angered and in shock,
awake there the next morning with a tear stained face.
You used me like your guinea pig for your experimental tests.
You may have won this round, but the next points are awarded to me.
You'll never know how much pain, the suffering you have caused me,
but it's final when I say 'no more!' with all my heart and soul,
for things I have done to myself were a result of your abuse.
My happiness slowly deteriorates...
Author notes
Just one of the reasons I self-harm, have had disordered eating for the past 4 years, have depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder... never again, will I allow it to happen... I'm much stronger than I used to be
It's pretty dodgy... any suggestions?
Comments
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is a painful, strong piece with a lot of yourself clearly reflected in the words. It makes you a strong person, to be able to document that pain that you have suffered.
Poetically, I agree it's a bit of a struggle to read.
What I would suggest is spacing out the sentences a little.
An example:
After everything I've ever
done for you, you turned around and
stabbed me in the back.
You played your stupid, stupid
games with me, unfair rules and the
torment, confronting yet restraining me.
Do you see how it becomes less choppy.
Don't be afraid to do something different. Use punctuation in the middle of a line, and continue there if it is relevant.
And always use spell check, I noticed a couple of errors
Welcome to Allpoetry
I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask
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Been there, have an e.d., know all about self harm...but this is a wonderful proclamation of strength. Great!
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This is so not dodgy. It is amazing and as someone who can relate I can say that you have perfectly encapsulated the mix emotions abuse causes. This is so raw and eloquent.
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I love you Honestly
So honest, and true.I dont think its dodgy..Its Beauty at it best because being honest and true to want you feel within is difficult
I can understand your pain
thank you
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