She penetrates my skin, needle pointed seeking flesh
Her eyes as black as sin, she tastes that i am fresh
Runs her claws down my back, tearing me slowly still
I want her so badly, to attack, shes more addictive than a pill
The damned queen of hell, wants to taste me slowly
In my loins my pleasure dwells, rising for thee unholy
She taints my soul with every kiss, caressing everything thats stiff
She bleeds me out of lustful spite, Biting, tearing my lips
She cherishes my pain, her sexual tortures, makes me scream her name, i taste her fruits...in satans private orchard
Her teeth as white as snow, her lips as red as blood, She moans in tongues i will never know, i caress her single rose bud
But not like a normal being, she is a being alone, I stop myself from fleeing, because i understand one moan
I love you but i hate this curse, this feasting of poor life, A deed i find rather perverse, i shall never be a wife
Her tears soon dry to crisp flakes of sorrow, On my neck she starts her sexual suction
I dont think i will ever see tomorow
Because I have fallen for
the vampire seduction
A contest entry
- Darkest Erotic by poeticcaresses.
600 points, ended October 15, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Old or New Rhyming Poetry by usedup.
450 points, ended October 20, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Vampyres!!! by MysticEnchantress.
900 points, ended November 10, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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"She penetrates my skin"
What an opening!!!!!
That, combined with the title had me hooked!
And, it was allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll good
"She bleeds me out of lustful spite, Biting, tearing my lips
She cherishes my pain"
^That reminds me of me
This too
"On my neck she starts her sexual suction"
I am awe struck by this poem and the ending has such an impact
"I dont think i will ever see tomorow
Because I have fallen for
the vampire seduction"
Ok, I'm sold.
You're a favourite =D
Shelly
x
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I think better wording in some areas and a more better background/text font would have upped your chances. This is a brilliant piece, but alas is that 'special something' is quite absent. Well done on a fantastic tribute to vampyres...
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wow amazing write kinda wondering what could have possibly made you think about this but still amazing
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awe inspiring ....thanq......
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Great write on vampires.I love dark romance so much .Very vivid and amazing imagery .
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hmmm
again i cant help but wonder what was goin through your mind...very good......
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FANTASTIC
it was i believe the best writien vampire poem on all poetry it was beautiful nad sensual! i loved it!
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'Her eyes as black as sin'...
What a simile!
'In my loin my pleasure dwells'
Goes without saying...
'She cherishes my pain'
A genuine vampire...
'I taste her fruits'
A generous vampire...
'She moans in tongue I will never know'
Why should you?
'On my neck she starts her sexual suction'
You deserve that...
Wow!
Excellent description...
I feel like becoming a vampire!
Galaxy2 -
erotic,
The rhyming in this was amzing and I normally am not a fan of erotica but I enjoyed this. The flow was amazing as was the imagery. You amaze me once again
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WOW..very erotic indeed. I love this poem, my body is over heating. Great use of words and images. You are a great poet luv
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very sexy i enjoy vampire seduction !
this poem reminds me alot of a poem i wrote that reminds me alot of this! great minds think alike!
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Wow, Jeez Billy, could you have gotten any more descriptive? At least there wasn't an image to go along with it
Brilliantly done; seductive, powerful, descriptive- you ticked all the right boxes, this one has to get a trophy!
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Loved it!
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well done! Beautiful write. Very seductive. Thanks for entering!
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'Her eyes as black as sin'
brilliant simile!
'In my loins my pleasure dwells'
goes without saying...
'caressing everythinh that's stiff'
naughty she...
'she cherishes my pain'
evil she...
'her sexual torture, makes me scream her name'
foolish you...
'her lips as red as blood'
I need to taste them...
'On my neck she starts her sexual suction'
bless your soul!
Galaxy2
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This was absolutely fantastic!
I love the flow and rhythm
The seduction was perfection
You really got yourself a winner here!
ML&R
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WOW! Bill! This has a very erotic seduction to it! I love it! I think that this is my new favorite! Again another amazing write! You are getting better and better! Love it
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O.o, I love it, hun. Very erotic, and sensual. It's great.
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cheers babe :] x
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Hey Bill another great poem could you please give me your opinion on my newest one tell me whether i shud leave it or not.
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This is an excellent, vivid and well structured write. The fact it's about vampires is a bonus.
Wonderfully seductive, entrancingly captivating.
Bravo
'D'
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This poem is amazing. I loved the flow and the descriptions of this piece. Every stanza is well thought out. Well Done
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