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Baby Love

I hold this baby girl,
my Goddaughter, the one
they have nicknamed, Pinkie,
and I tuck her as close
as I can against my heart, I
smell the soft smells of innocence
and I ache, Lord, how I ache,
so hard I think my smile
will break and fall onto her lashes.

Were she to be mine,
I would ask for nothing more.
The moon, I could ignore, I’m sure,
the sun would rise and set
only in her reflection, my beloved
ocean would pale in her
perfection, and every star above
would be taught a new lesson
in love -

she wiggles in my arms,

yawns a tiny ‘o’, untying the pink bow
of her lips, raises small fists up
into the air, as I stroke down a wisp
of hair that will someday, if she is lucky,
never frizz like mine in heat.


I count the niblets of toes on her feet,
kiss the roundness of her cheeks
so plump, so sweet,

like the apples in her daddy's orchard,

and when it is time to let go

I know I will have whispered a thousand

"I love you's"

 

'til I am with you again.

Author notes

Prompt: Love was here today (no more than 50 lines) - 32 lines

Dedicated to my two month old Goddaughter,
our first visit together.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • Swan song gold member
    October 23
    Edit | Reply
    count the niblets of toes on her feet,
    kiss the roundness of her cheeks
    so plump, so sweet,

    like the apples in her daddy's orchard,

    and when it is time to let go

    I know I will have whispered a thousand

    "I love you's"



    you are so beautiful!

  • MandiBear
    October 18
    Edit | Reply
    very sweet! =) Great work.

  • nevadapoet
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful...it sounds like you are very proud. You will have many many years of precious moments with her...congratulations on being Godmommy...an honor, I'm sure she will benefit from for always. What is her name?
    I had 5 mis-carriages before I had my daughter...she is a gift as all children are...enjoy her...but don't blink, they grow that fast!!!
    Shelly


  • balenciaga silver member
    October 14
    Edit | Reply
    so precious .


  • whits end silver member
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    And what a define love it is. There is an unconditional bond between you that cannot be broken. This was a lovely poem.

  • Yvette Champ
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written poetry, the rhyme dances naturally, it is slipped inside so perfectly that it just happens to rhyme and does not depend on its rhyme, my favourite kind of rhyme and far, far removed from my own crime-rhyme.

    The imagery and emotion are served as sweetly as a promise made from a promise/premise of sweetness.


    Baby Love, unbridled joy, a joy to read and a joy to journey within these heart-felt, heart-melting-moments.

    Kudos and Congratulations.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Lane! This is just so precious!!

    I have a goddaughter too, and two godsons I remember when they were born.. sigh...

    Gorgeous write!

  • A lovely piece, thank you for your fine entry in this contest.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful, there is nothing more beautiful than the innocence of a new born child. You just portrayed this moment so perfectly my friend, this shall rest in my bookmarks. Best to you


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    From the Womb


    Wonders are they, who come from within,
    These testimonies of truest love
    For as their precious blessed lives begin
    There is singing in heaven above.

     

    I can see vividly, the pure love portrayed

    In your words, Lane and they are stunning.

    With much love,

    mj.

     


  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    So, I take it Michigan came to the island?

    Such wonders they are, so tiny and able to control our feelings without trying.


  • arafura
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful! Love was never expressed better my friend.


  • notorious
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    I don't like babies, but you had me thinking babies were poetic, if not lovable (by me--I am an alien, maternally...).

    As for Pinkie being a nickname...that never would occur to me, but I love the little tidbits you pepper in here that makes it feel like a true moment in your life, like all your poems.

    "every star above
    would be a taught a new lesson
    in love -"
    Well, that's just such a nice thought expressed in the most poetic way possible!!

    I think you made stars unique again Lane.

    "untying the pink bow
    of her lips"
    Where do you think of such inventive analogies that apply to real people?!!!
    So, so good.

    "like the apples in her Daddy's orchard"
    Love this simile--it's deliciously good and references a blood link to your goddaughter...nice.



    Jessica (Satan doesn't smoke in this comment )


  • DolceVito gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    You have painted a beautiful picture here, Lane. Deserving
    Peace, love,
    Vito

  • Topnotchsy
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.

    I really liked this line:

    "as I stroke down a wisp
    of hair that will someday, if she is lucky,
    never frizz like mine in heat."

    which to me captured perfectly the free association that is our thinking minds.


  • Allan Emery silver member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing, powerful, and universal. It made me think...

    I hate thinking. Can you stop doing that to me, please?


    Have some bunnies.


  • nordicsky silver member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    “Were she to be mine,
    I would ask for nothing more.
    The moon, I would ignore, I’m sure,
    the sun would rise and set
    only in her reflection, my beloved
    ocean would pale in her
    perfection, and every star above
    would be taught a new lesson
    in love –“

    Were she yours, the beauty and power of your love for your child would eclipse anything this world had ever seen.

    A wonderful piece of writing that brought back very special memories for me.

    Love, Peter


  • forty-one
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    I must agree with all here... this was absolutely beautiful! What a truly fantastic read. Whatever you have, I wish I could get. This really pulled at my heartstrings!

    41


  • Rowan gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    "I count the niblets of toes". Loved that line. She's a very lucky girl to be so obviously adored. This is so beautiful hon.


  • Amera gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Well you found my soft spot. This is absolutely adorable. I’d like to print and bring this to work if you don’t mind. This poem has uses that I bet you never thought of.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Amarillistarshot
    October 12

    Edit | Reply

    wow!

    This is absolutely beautiful. I can see the cute little baby, and I can feel your love for her. Wonderful imagery, absolutely sweet and caring. Well done, Laney, well done!!!


  • WolfHeart gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Brought tears to my eyes!! Just a lovely and totally real telling of our love for another being. You did a fine job on this and roused many memories. Best of luck in the competition.

  • Sesheta
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sweet. And powerful. My heart aches at the thought of such a moment--and in such moments of my own. And who can resist the things that make this real, like hoping for her hair, and lessons for the stars?


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I recognise the feeling. Sweetly expressed, k-c.


  • Matt Holck
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    great flow and rhyme


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply

    L.O.V.E.

    SPELLED ANOTHER WAY IS: D.A.L.A.N.E.Y. Absolute beauty.
    this piece fills my heart, you are a mistress of words lady.


  • marc creamore
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    I see this tender, heartfelt image so clearly, the poet and the child, two souls embracing, unconditionally sharing a depth of feeling, an unspoken understanding . . . just beautiful Lanie, the ache you felt says it all . . .

    Marc

  • Just a poet gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    A perfect verse of love and joy
    That celebrates a happy time
    The metaphors that you employ
    Have made your poetry sublime
    . With pinkies toes to fill your mind
    . The apple cheeks that warm the clime
    . The turn of phrase that you can find
    . Has made your poetry sublime
    Two tiny fists that flap like birds
    A mouth that's rounder than a dime
    All written in the magic words
    That makes your poetry sublime
    . A perfect verse of love and joy
    . Your poetry is quite sublime


  • BehindTheShadow gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    the fact that you could ignore the moon is the giveaway of how deep the emotion has touched you and you have captured it perfectly. Yes, this is one of your best and that is a high bar to grasp.


  • Peteskid gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    There is something within us, that we can give when we allow; and then we learn something so important...tiny perfect mirror, of what we wish... for the best of life that we can create...excellent...PK


  • JohnnyD gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply




    ........perfection....

  • silverfish
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    i have no words to describe the beauty of love and longing in your voice here. -s


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Perfection.


    I was tempted to leave it at that, but I can't. Niblets of toes...

    Too many images too sweet to pick.

    Of your very very best. And that means of the best there is.
    When she is getting married it won't be the photographs that are aired with pride, but this.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beautiful, the love you feel for her you have made crystal clear, to hold any baby is precious but a goddaughter even more so.

    May you always be there for her and love her.

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful feeling with us.

    Love
    Sue


  • paulcreates silver member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    "...yawns a tiny ‘o’, untying the pink bow..."
    you are just amazing. You've so aptly captured the tenderness of this scene too. I also love this other line where the repetition sends warmth in, "..kiss the roundness of her cheeks
    so sweet, so sweet,.."
    This is maternal bliss personified dear.

    Paul

1 - 35 of 35