In the Ground Floor Hallways

We had once walked in leisurely steps,
marching to an unknown regal beat
hands attached, embroidered together
eyes never wavering from dreamy glances

However, unbeknownst to me,
you had seen something ahead more valuable,
eyes avert in scorning guilt,
you hastened, jerked away,

I attempted to anchor myself into the sand,
vehement in my attempt to pull you back
and yet your determination was strict

I fell to the ground in tears,
tasting sour on my tongue
I had licked my wounds clean, reveling in the electric pain
watched them heal with blackened eyes

Unsteady, like a foal on wobbly legs, I stood
unwillingly my body hesitantly advanced
searching blindly for a familiar shadow,
that feel over the horizon - a burning star

I had gained momentum, jog, run, strive, trip, fall
My legs were damaged - My eyes were frenzied
my heart had given up faith

And in this calamity he appeared - a swift wind
He lifted me, carried me,
arms tender warm - eyes dark, sinful with betrayal,
a traitor, a pretence

My skin was thickened from my scabs
my mind rejected pain
A numb martyr in his arms,
eyes closed from realities lost doors

My weight was unbearable,
and so I crashed unwillingly from a haven
I tumbled through colors, tastes, smells and stood

I walked farther than I had imaged possible
eyes chastised on the eternal road
you meant little then
and yet my mind had wandered - masochistic in origin

Thoughts danced wickedly
almost consuming my morals and filled me with hope
I scolded my eyes, scolded my heart - forward march!
and shivered in the approaching cold - bare skinned

Now your figure darkens my horizon
your mind ignorant to my struggles
the path I had marked with endless footsteps

You’re haggard and broken- confused and lost
I walk in step behind you, a silent plague
too far to touch
too close to speak

I watch, blood boiling
trying to override the evident joy and pain in this reunion
while my hand flexes, wanting so much to grab yours,
take this world by storm together,

Yet you shall reject me,
push me away and abuse me
it’s obvious on the tasteless wind

You walk on
unbeknownst to my presence, my struggle
you never were clairvoyant - never were perceptive
and in this laid your fears

In your shadow I hide,
living in this world of endless night and frozen rain
stabbing into my palms
filling me with pain that spread with wildfire like eagerness

I am not your messiah,
your sacrifice,
your regret

Impossible to escape
you never change pace
shivering violently, angrily
I hasten, walk, run, fly ahead of you

Not once do I turn for your expression
Eyes trained forward - FORWARD MARCH!
with heartbroken relief,
I overcome your grasp of time