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Primal Scream

Missing image

 

something lost

  undefined

      something haunts

           chaotic mind

                something creeps

                     through icy veins

                         echoed shouts

                              endlessly chained

                                   something desires

                                         freedom from past

                                    something shallow

                               seeps unsurpassed 

                          something grave

                     seeks light of day

                     inching closer

               ever underway

          something cold

    unhinges despair

something dark

    comes up for air

         something stark

           whispers 'beware!'

                someone screams

                       in mindless fear

                             someone seeks

                              escape from here

                                         someone sees

                                      reflection in mirror

                                              someone moves

                                                        ever closer

                                            something dawns

                                       in someones eyes

                                  someone screams

                              again in surprise

                         someone frantic

                runs from the room

             but someone can't

         escape from doom

    someone despairs

wondering what 

  might still linger in

        the dead of night...

 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

contest:- Best Writes Since 1st November 2008!

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • poetyaknoit
    December 1
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    wow interesting poem. I like the shape and the rhythm and rhyme. Well done. Best of luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC

  • Draig aine gold member
    November 28
    Edit | Reply

    OMG

    LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT


  • Ellis gold member
    November 16
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    very creative and effective


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar gold member
    November 15

    Edit | Reply
    it is the life when you discuss it..either by the words of he poetry or in prose..your will find yourself in the uncertainity ..and that is it here even..well done...

  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    Like the rhyme, it suits this piece. The picture is awesome. I like that, also like the eerieness that is reflected in this piece.

  • c e ll a r . d oo r
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    this was awesome. the format was creative & actually added to the flow of the lines.

    great write!

  • Black Rayne gold member
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    Straight to the top!
    absolutly amazing


  • Never Fall in Love gold member
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    A much much better ending. I'm glad I came back to read

  • Super-man
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    What may linger. only to wonder.

    Awesome work.


  • Never Fall in Love gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    I pretty much agree with Friday although I should probably say that I adre the rhythm. The end is just not up to par.


  • Friday gold member
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm... I like the rhythm of this but the end was very much handed to us. I would have liked it to have a bit less lead up, a bit less on the hints as to what was ahead I suppose. That said, the formatting really did it for me.

    Thank you
1 - 12 of 12