Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I know

Can you hear me ? Try to hurt me now !!!
Forget that in a moment I'd give my life for you
And for those uncommon things you do,
That for you I'll even break my love bough.

I'm sacrificing everything, but listen to your heart,
Because my crazy love can tear us apart.
And the passion that suffocates and makes you scream,
It's waiting for the accomplishment of a better dream.

I know, you're afraid and you want to escape
From my love that seems to smother you,
From the presence you don't believe in anymore.
I know, there's a storm melting inside you.

Forget my meaningless life,
But let the sky cry for me!
Forget the promises we've made,
But let the poison flow through me!

The emotion you foolishly set free with a kiss
Now haunts you, it rakes you up inside.
You will never live such a great love
That you crave for, but you don't miss.

Strange, isn't it babe?


My first poem, please be gentle :)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • SeptemberFaith Greeters member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    Hey Unknown Pain,

    "That for you I'll even break my love bough" what is bough? Should it be a different word?

    I think you did a good job expressing your feelings. Some of us love unconditionally and fully with our hearts. Once you are gone, he will realize his mistake and it may be too late... you may already be gone.. and he'll feel the pain you feel now.

    "The emotion you foolishly set free with a kiss
    Now haunts you, it rakes you up inside."

    I really like those lines. I dont like that you talk about your life as meaningless. You deserve happiness, we all do. If someone can not see what they have, they dont deserve to have it!!!

    BRAVO Poet,
    Criss
    Site Greeter

  • Shimano
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautful Write

    True and Honest...and I have walked many nights with these feelings you pen..

    Powerful and full of raw energy

    Forget my meaningless life,
    But let the sky cry for me!
    Forget the promises we've made,
    But let the poison flow through me!

    I esp like these few lines ...so potent

    thank you for sharing


  • PhantomsAngel87 Greeters member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    The deep raw emotions you pen within this roar off the page in an almost whisper as though you want to get the message across but are trying to gently

    I find this intriguing, deep and passionate to read
    A small suggestion I have is to captalize your 'i's

    Great write
    ♥
    Enjoy AllPoetry
    Stay safe
    ~Manda
    Site Greeter