I adorn a window off Winter's faith
where he sings to my skin
fringe the night;
just another stitch
he uses lips like a needle,
and my soul the thread
where sweaters can be made
without being,
and flesh lines flesh
to love.
Author notes
prompt: lace
no more than 50words
A contest entry
- Word Prompt II - by PhantomsAngel87.
400 points, ended November 17, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Absolutely stunning. my one suggestion is to remove and before 'my soul' as i think it adds to the meaning and flow. Lovely work!
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As always you amaze me when I read your words hun; this is stunning and intriguing from beginning to end
♥
Thank You for Your Entry & Best of Luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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wow very dark and thoughtfulll this was very well expressed and very well used!nicely done good luck!
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Todays Poem - November 3
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lol, what?
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a note to a group i belong to - todays poem - they pick a poem a day to feature it lol (:
and yours was the one for nov. 3 xD -
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awww thanks, so sweet
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this is just excellent ...
I was hooked by the opening stanza and have re-read it a few times before writing this comment.
when poems gap me ... not being able to language how they strike me, well .... that is a good thing.
thanks and good luck in the contest.
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I loved it!
i loved the flow and the over all of meaning of the poem Bravo!!
Rend
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I like the layout of the poem, the way that it isn't the conventional straight up and down. The words are beautiful as well, with such delicate imagery.
Best of luck in the contest.
sinnocence
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Such a brilliant piece of writing, poet. You expressed an impressive piece of writing with the word prompt...
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I like your take on that prompt - full of vivid images.
best wishes in your contest.
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A short but well written piece!
Well done and I hope that you do
well with it in this contest!
Jeremy0826 -
Such a short sweet piece of poetry full of imagery and methaphors. I especially love the second stanza, so beautiful! ^_^
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wowza babes ya sure ave a lot to say of late
all are amazin
this one is sad yet loverly
abe
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the repetition at the end seemed fairly akward & some of the images such as "lips like a needle" didn't produce the effect you were probably hoping for.
i however appreciate the layout of the wording, which reminds me of cummings somewhat. -
I like the concept that you used with the prompt of lace...I think it works very nicely...Especially the line "Flesh lines flesh..." It speaks to me so much!
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oops, forgot these.
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It should be 'sings,' not 'sing's.'
but aside from that, it's great. you have a gift for this style of stunning imagery and minimalistic punch. -
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lol. huh?
and thanks
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lol I'm confused as to what you're confused about... lol I'm weird like that xD
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the stunning imagery and minimalstic punch
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