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Within Her Iris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I.

 

Illusion's inequity
danced tongues,
through the seasons;

    like lies
that bore my name Winter,


      while Summer kissed Sun.

II.

 

Sky falters:

      I am extraordinary

when minds can not grasp
                            her sense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

30word max
this poem is kinda 2sections...idk...sorry if its confusing, i can take the numerals
out...



prompt:"feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes."
This is a line from "Ode on Melancholy", by John Keats

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Lowercase Prelude gold member
    November 30, 2008
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    Wonderful poem Stephanie
    Your words expressed your thoughts and emotions well

  • Sandra R Reynolds silver member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write Stef.


  • peacelostintime
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a really interesting write, its new fresh and well written.
    well done and all the best in your future adventures

  • color me silent gold member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with MJ Donnelly. This is brilliant. You really need to keep writing, I'm so hooked on everything that you write. This especially. I meant to comment on this last night, but completely spaced, haha. Beautiful!

    ♣ Tegan

  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In a word: brilliant.


    Your mind is so very fertile Steph and I urge you to continue your poetic endeavors.


    With much love,
    mj.


  • Puppydog gold member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SO DEEP IN THOUGHT,

    One can see you are not happy, I can associate with you on that, I also have from time to time felt lost and alone, not wanted or even liked, but then always there has been people who have opened their hearts up to me. That my friend makes all the difference in the world, friends who do care and here even though we may ever meet them in person they do care and with open minds and hearts are here for us.. Great write from sincere thoughts.'s


  • spideracer gold member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Short but amazing write, not at all confusing to one who looks deep into the heart of this poem.


  • sailor ptolema
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh i like this !
    thanks for entering,

    silver.


  • sheltered
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well shit
    i knew you were only faking it
    miss innocent


  • Cannonsfire gold member
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent take on the prompt. good luck hun

    C


  • DancingWithDarkness gold member
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I'm speachless...

    You have hit home with your writing and I wish you all the best in the contest.

    Rose
1 - 14 of 14