Walking across campus,
clear winter night,
a sudden wind sends leaves
skittering
across concrete.
It sounds so much like rain
for a moment I
stop and
stare up,
expecting to see clouds--
but there are only stars.
A contest entry
- I LOVE RANDOM POEMS!!!!!!!GIVE ME SOME!!! by Vermillion 117.
650 points, ended December 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any suggestions? I like comments that point out my faults but don't completely bash me either.
Comments
-
amazing
even though its not what i was looking for its kinda distinct and reaches out with a bit of randomness in its own -
Outstanding
I liked the originality of the ending of this poem and the creative use of language - you drew the scene very well. It is only short and yet the imagery is well-chosen and just enough to create atmosphere in the poem. I enjoyed reading this. There are no obvious areas that need improvement.
-
I see no faults here. It is concise and gets to the point. It is short but is written well enough that I can see it in my mind. I like it very much.
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