Come roll with me on my cloud
of ecstasy dreams
where we realize the world
is just as it seems
and the beauty of life
is that it is a free for all
and visions of heaven
will always catch us
when we fall
no dancing rainbows
of colors unseen
no being stalked by
a leprechaun feign
this cloud of ecstasy dreams
a soul opened a little more
mind whispering answers
to, "what are you here for?"
and it's not an escape
just an adventure for one night
that helps you realize in life
there is darkness then light
Author notes
Sometimes I am who I am and sometimes I walk through the door of my father's legacy with open arms...
Written March 6th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Drug Addiction by isa.
300 points, ended April 13, 2004, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i like the words and phrases you used in this. it gives off a very interesting feel. very good write and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you so much for entering my contest,...I really enjoyed your poem. Good luck in the contest.
-Isa -
Thanks for your comment. In response to your question, "No being stalked by leprechaun feign" is an inside reference to one of my friends who tried acid a long time ago and saw some very -weird things. Thanks much for the read hope that cleared it up for you.
~JayLynn
Edited on Mar 09, 9:05 because ''. -
Has Potential
It's not bad... I'm sorry to say it's not one of my favorites, but it's not bad. There's almost a meter, enough of one to make me want more... Some of the rhymes seem a little forced. And what does
"no being stalked by
a leprechaun feign"
mean? It confused me a little. However, all that being said, it has potential. The imagery is pretty good, and I like a lot of your word choices. Keep writing... I want to read more of your work. -
really well written
"just an adventure for one night
that helps you realize in life
there is darkness then light"
you're poems r always worth reading! -
"this cloud of ecstasy dreams
a soul opened a little more
mind whispering answers
to, "what are you here for?"
and it's not an escape"
Very sad, yet hopefull at the same time, a hard thing to do. Well done!
-Angel Tears
-
Hey this is really good, beautifull flow, and the rhyme adds a nice touch, and is not at all forced. It reads nicely, and is very well written. I love the hopefull ideas in this, and thankyou for sharing it with all of us here. Very nice piece, congratulations, very well done.
xxx Delta -
at first i didnt like this, but i read it again, and i decided that its actually pretty soulful. i ended up liking this poem a lot. good work. very good.
-
"and visions of heaven
will always catch us
when we fall"
excellent words here!
to me, it made me think of someone not caring about the consequences and just taking the chance, or, not taking the chance...
it seems to have many meanings...
like saying whatever...if i go, i go...i believe in Heaven
i dont know
im weird
but excellent job!
~~Blu~~ -
nicely put together..I like it..
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