Inside of me I’m about to blow up
And I don’t mean throw up
The cheese I’m about to cut
There is something hideous about to come out of my butt
Squeezing, squeezing really tight
By the way mine smell it wont leave ‘til tomorrow night
Will it come out smooth or will it be chunky
Will it not smell or will it smell funky
Oh no! I think I’ve guessed wrong
The stink of mine will be way too strong
Oh no! I can’t believe it
I think right now I need a toilet
I feel a turtlehead poking out
People will enjoy it, that I doubt
Awe, what if I accidentally poop my underwear
What if my droppings drop right there
Don’t worry I’ll warn you when I think it’s coming
I’ll give you a signal; I’ll start humming
I will need toilet paper so I don’t have to wipe with my hands
I’ll try to hold it in but I don’t think I can
I wonder how much spray people will use
I wonder how much weight I will loose
I don’t think anyone can take this crap
It will probably knock everyone out; They’ll all take a nap
Why couldn’t it be No.1 and not No. 2
Why can’t it just be pee and not Do Do
I wonder how long I will be; how long I will take
Or how much poo poo will I make
Should I go to the rest room or just stay right here
Will it be droplets or diarrhea
If I do it I don’t know how many it will harm
Shh! I think I feel it-----Nope false alarm
Author notes
Sorry if this is nasty to you. I thought it was funny cuz I wrote it!
I wouldn't order anything with onions if I were to order from restaurant!
Written March 10th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Humor OR ELSE by BlondiesRSmart2.
327 points, ended May 16, 2004, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is the funniest poem ever! I have never read a poem about poop but you really did it with style! Love it! It's going to my favorites!
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LMAO
The wording was hysterical but what i think makes this an awesome write is cuz when u gotta "go" in public, we all think like that!
I was rolling on the floor in tears laughing so hard, think i did a No 1, but thankfully it wasnt a No 2!!!!
Well done!
~Angie
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Eeeeeeeewwwwww!
I thought I smelled something! I just hope you opened the window on top of that air freshener.
You had me wonderin' why it was under "nature", but now I see why.
NATURE CALLING!
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ROTFL.....I'm glad you recommended this read. I don't think I have laughed so hard in a very long time. I would give you an applause, but have spent them for today!I will visit your site again, as I think you are very talented!!!and...very humorous!
Linda
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did write this on the toilet? I bet you waited to flush the crap and just stared at it for a while till' inspiration struck you. and the fact that you could rhyme everything. this was too much. this was just disgustingly funny. good luck in the contest.
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yuo sound like my tech director at school he's got that type of sence of humor. well amusing truely amusing
~blond chick
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LOL OMG ... this write was seriously way to funny ... i couldn't help but start laughing so hard while reading it ... awesome write and a truley unique one at that ... not to many poems about POOP around to make people laugh ... great write and keep penning ... God Bless
Babie
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Quite humorous and a unique topic LOL Something we don't often verbalize so descriptively, but probably is in our thoughts from time to time LOL
~Kathy -
ROFLMAO! Where the heck did this come from? lmao through the entire poem. I give you credit for posting this, it is just plain gross. lol Funny still, I had favorite lines...
Why couldn’t it be No.1 and not No. 2
Why can’t it just be pee and not Do Do
Keep up the good work and don't blow too many of us away lol Aimee -
Wow! This is by far the funniest poem I have ever read! I was crying I was laughing so hard! Me and all my friends loved it! We were all crying! I was trying to decide whether it was funny or gross Lol but it was amazing! Great write and keep it up! Felicia
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haha ew gross but funny! nice rymes.....eeeeeeeeeeeew! hahahahaha! well hey i cant be a hypocrit...i wrote a poem about the pee dance
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lmao hahahahahahahahahaha i cant stop laughing although it was nasty but ya it was definitely hilarious. Im sittin here reading it and thinking ha hes probably gonna poop in his pants and its gonna be diarrhea lol.... but nope it was a false alarm hahaha. Great poem
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he he heh...ewwwww
My reactions were a tie between giggles and "ewwwww gross!". This was hilarious in a clever (and rather disgusting) way. This is the 1st of your's I've read and I see that you have some talent for unusal rhyming couplets. I 'll check out some others with hopefully (ahem) different subject matter...lol
Question: is the plane inside the circle of the sun symbolic? Maybe I just have a dirty mind
Edited on Mar 16, 11:17 because 'additions'. -
Who knew you could write about something like that...not me. But it was funny and it had a nice bounce that captured the reader. Nice job
~Kamilah -
OMG!!!!!!!!! this is.. brilliant! wow... you got skill.. and you use it to write poems about 'crap' hahahaha! Im glad to know you have a sence of humor... hahahahahaha~ im still laughing!
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THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
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