In a time not so long ago
In a land not so far away
Lived a king whom the people knew
Was always fair and always true.
Laws and mandates were rarely disobeyed
For in his realm justice always was satisfied.
Yet his love and grace was known far and wide.
His kindness touched every village and countryside.
The king had an heir, an only son
Whom he loved and cherished abundantly.
He took his time, as any Father would do,
To teach his son what he knew was true.
His son learned of love and his son learned of trust.
His son learned of justice and his son learned grace.
Of these principles his son would never stray.
Until one very tragic and grievous day.
The king's son had gone out to play in a forest nearby
As he had so often done when his father was near.
On this particular day while his father was away
The son failed to return from his adventurous play.
The knights and the nobles searched and searched.
Days turned to weeks; weeks turned to months.
Months turned to years and years and years
Though it all the king and his country cried many tears.
Then one day the king's son was found
The king was never so joyous and relieved
Until he learned how his son had been found
He had been arrested among the most notorious men around.
His son and been taken by a reckless gang
A reckless gang of thieves and murderers.
They taught him to steal, to lie and to kill.
Learning this the king became violently ill.
What could a just and fair king do?
He went to jail and opened the door.
There was only one recourse the king could take
For his love for his son was so great.
He embraced his son and let him go free
"Remember this my son. Remember this well."
Was all the just and loving king had said
As his son turned from his dad and fled.
The very next day all the kingdom was crying.
The freed son was confused and perplexed,
So he asked one nearby peasant why he cried.
"Our king! Our just and loving king has died!"
It was in that moment the son realized
Just what his father had done and why he was free
Justice and love had both been served.
The righteous king had taken the punishment he deserved.
Author notes
This is about the second chance I received that I did not deserve by my most loving and just Father and King.
I have commented on the following poems in this contest so far
Mama - by asmiati
The Long Road Home - by Chuck Johnson
Heaven's Gate - by emacipation
Written June 20th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- A Second Chance by punksense.
300 points, ended July 2, 2004, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
I told you I would check out more of your work
This poem was great too. . . . But the last line confused me for a minute. I get it now. . . But it might be better understood if maybe it was "the righteous king had taken the punishment his son deserved"
I like it either way. Just givin you my opinion. Anywho beautiful write.
Love
Amelia
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
-
Beautiful and spiritually crafted
Indeed you could take this one and make it a story
I have enjoyed these my friend
Good luck in the contest
Hoping you get to bring home a trophy
And look at it wistfully in the wintertime by your fireplace
Hugs
Susan~~~
-
*tear* This is really good! I'm so glad you entered this. I like how you explained it. I know sometimes I don't deserve some second chances, but I get them. The strongest feeling is regret. UGH! I don't like that feeling...*sigh*
GREAT JOB!
Jen >_< -
wonderful wonderful illustration!!! the ending hit me really hard and its extremely wonderful. keep on writing!
Bradley -
Wow. I know what it's like to get second chances even when we don't deserve them. Sometimes people take things for granted and stray. Then we don't know why people give us second chances. But if it wasn't for the second chances in life, we could not change and do what is right. Even one makes mistakes and deserves a second chance as long as they try. This was very good, I wanted to cry. I felt the emotions from this alot. I have been there. Keep up the good work hun. Lots of love, ~maryj~
-
even though this was long, it was still very good.
-
oh my gosh! that is so beautiful! I heard a story like that once, but i like urs better. I got chills, and that doesn't often happen. good job!
-
excellent
wow amazing write simply you should win this contest hands down this write is one of the best i read in while you have me speechless and i love the end ! -
Great Piece
I love how this reads like a story, but has the poem(ish) feel. Also I found the story to be very well thought out and writen. Nice work and good story.
Prysmatyk -
What a story! You are a natural story teller. Great ending, one that tugs at the heart.
-
Wow! This is an epic! This is a beautiful piece, and very inspiring. The words you chose, and the way in which you used them, were perfect. You got your message across well. It's clear you put a lot of time and effort, and also your heart, into your work, and that's very commendable. Not many others would succeed, but you do it perfectly.
This is an excellent piece, and one that deserves to win. You're a winner in my book, anyway.
Good luck with the contest!
And one last thing: a quick thank you for the comment you left. It was very sweet of you.
Love Ali xxx
Edited on Jun 22, 12:55 because ''. -
excellent
you are so adept at the story poem.you chose your words well and you put your heart into your work.once again the moral is well stated.a clear work that don'y send you into a panic searching for the meaning.excellent. -
Inspirational, and I can see the potential metaphors, but they are well written and very symbolic, not too explicit but get the point across well... words well chosen and this flowed beautifully. What a surprising twist at the end. Excellent write.
-
This is a BEAUTIFUL INSPIRATIONAL narrative piece! You poet have done a AWESOME GRAND JOB here and I am sure you shall trophy with this!!!! AWESOME WRITING and an EXCELLENT READ!
Love, Peace and Hugs
~Nikki~ -
nice story poem write, told well! i like the end, but im a bit confused with it, but im kinda dumb too
so dont take that offensivly. well written!
-
you told this story so well, and in so few words. it's true, He did take the punishment that we deserve, and He'll take in anyone who will accept him. this is an awesome poem, i hope that people get the deeper meaning behind it
~Thyme -
I have to say here that this is just lovely. I do agree with trekker, this reads like a story in poetic form which is a very flattering thing in my opinion. You really did a good job here and I really enjoyed the aithor's comment that you made explaining it. God bless. ~Melissa
-
Interesting twist at the end. All in all, a very good tale, although I kept wanting to read this as more of a short story or parable and less as a poem. Something about the tale really drew me in. Good job.
-
What a beautiful poem... sounds like you were trying to write out a whole novel-length story and just didn't have enough space
You could definetly make a story out of this. Don't get me wrong, this is an excellent poem that I really enjoyed reading. If this is based on something that happened in your life then, well... I hope you've found peace with your father since then. If not then you've done an excellent job of catching a lot of emotion and life events into poem form. Keep up the excellent work! I look forward to readin' more of your material in the future
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
5 old applause
