Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

See Me

Do you ever see me anywhere?
Or to you, am I not really there?
Nothing you do or say shows you care!

You look at me, but you do not see.
Am I a ghost that you see the wall and not me?
Is it because I am not whom you'd hoped I be?

You speak and words echo in the empty halls
I do not listen to your hollow, meaningless calls.
Instead I construct even higher, stronger walls.

I am protected from your shame!
I am not the one to blame!
One day I'll erase your name!

You are not nor ever will be me!
Of you, one day, I'll be totally free!
I am who I am. I will be who I will be!

One day the walls will come tumbling down.
But I need them now to protect my ground.
Presently I am lost, but I will be found.

When I am safe, I'll come out from hiding
Then in real love will I be found abiding.
It will then be tears of joy that I'll be crying.

Author notes

A memember who read this urged me to post it here, so I am. It's written from the perspective of a teen to a parent but can apply to adults and many situations.
Written June 23rd, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • rufina caraid silver member
    August 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Teens! shudder - my son was 'lost' between 16 and 19 and was replaced by an attitude - fortunately it didn't last and I got my boy back - but oh what a journey tht was. Your poem does reflect this so well.
    thanks for your entry
    ~von~

  • qnhoneybee
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I can see a teen feeling this way, as mine is just entering the teens at 13 and she definitely has a wall that is much higher than I climb sometimes. This is the know all age. I have suddenly become two and she is the adult with all the wisdom. Or so she thinks anyway. It is very tough to be a teen today. Thank-you for that message.

    Thank-you for entering and Good Luck!

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    August 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh...I do not look forward to the tten years though they bear down upon me quickly with my own children. Fortunately I have a tiny bit of experience in that two of my teen sisters have lived with me. Though I think it's not much preparation since of my 4 children, the first two to become teens are boys...lol... A fine write, good luck, thanks for entering and best of wishes.. ~gneielassie~

  • punksense
    June 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I also loved this. I put these lines into my AIM profile::

    One day the walls will come tumbling down.
    But I need them now to protect my ground.
    Presently I am lost, but I will be found.

    Jen >_<

  • Runawaytrain
    June 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Whoa, so much anger in this poem. I wanted so much to be free of parental control that I ran away from home. Not something I would reccomend. You have even less control living on the streets. Anyway, I have found writing to be excellent therapy. Keep letting the anger out.

  • Jenn-Uh
    June 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    You are such a good poet I love your work, you know exactly hopw to get right into my situations, except my walls werent strong enough and he is back in my heart and he has filled it with lots and lots of love so he learned that he was missing out, thank you for posting this i love love poems.
    ~Jenna
  • lilLarzUlrich
    June 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    well written

    hey your work is great, thanx 4 commenting mine, id love to read more of your work

  • NewanDpRetTy
    June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wow! ok.. i think i need to check out the rest of your work... ok this is my third poem ive read by you.. and i love em all! this is a great write.. and i know i've felt like this here and there.. but yeah... ok.. your very talented! and keep writing more poetry!

  • LionessK Greeters member
    June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I can see this in many different ways...and in all ways it is very well written..I especially like the last stnaza..it has a bit of hopefullness about it and that's always nice...excellent write..thank you for sharing and thank you for the lovely cooment you left on mt written thoughts (Bits of Glue) I really appreciate it...

    ~~Kristy

  • Rocky
    June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    very strong. Brilliant work keep it up
    xxxrockyxxx

  • froglover80
    June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    definately a poem that soo many can relate to, on many different plains in life. I think many teens feel this exact way. I know I did, but as an adult this write would be a lot different, instead of running away and not feeling loved, I would be free and still understand why the love was harsh as a "child"

    you did a great job on the write though. You got your meaning through, and gave it power and emotion....definately well written..thanks for sharing!
    ~~Jenn

  • -LizBTropez-
    June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Sure can apply to many situations. I like your rhyme scheme, using triplets is unique. Very good show of emotion. I'm sure many of us on here can relate, you've done a great job.

  • June 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Loved it!

    Wow, powerful and meaningful. I loved how you penned this one out. It shows so much determination to grow and become better off in you heart. What a great write!
    Prysmatyk
1 - 13 of 13