"Mommy, watch me!"
As a little girl I cried.
Mommy, I know you tried,
But you looked away and I sighed.
"Mommy watch me!
See what I've done!
Look what I've won!
I am someone!"
"Daddy are proud of me?
Do you see me at all
Whether I succeed or fall?
Does my beauty enthrall?"
"Daddy are proud of me?
Will you touch my hand?
Will you tell me I'm grand
Whether I crumble or I stand?"
Attention and affection,
It's all that I crave.
And so I'm bad and so I behave
Until you lay me in my grave.
Author notes
This was written for the host of this contest based on what little I could see of her on her author page. I saw that she craves attention and affection much like us all. So I wrote this from the perspective of a little girl, then a teen and finally an older woman.
Written June 24th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Parenting (Contest) by PeaceChain.
300 points, ended August 11, 2004, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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A really sad poem, everyone needs attention- especially children but also everyone, on their own terms as well- too much attention can be annoying
A great poem, I liked the way the voice changed but the message stayed the same
Wonderful poem, thanks for commenting on mine Keep writing because I'm waiting for one from you in my favourites
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I believe that giving attention to our children is their right -it builds a bond and foundation for a good relationship right into adulthood.
Another good entry melphleg
~Von~ -
I do like the repetiveness in your style of poetry. Especially in a poem that has a real strong message to get across. All children need attention and affection from their parents and they usually let you know this by accting out. Again another good message.
Thank-you for entering! Good-Luck! -
A very touching poem, kids do demand attention...lol...It is very difficult at times to give that attention as well. I have 4 children and they can be very demanding. The best I can do is make the time I have alone with each count. Be it ten minutes or an entire day! Thanks for entering, good luck and best of wishes... ~genielassie~
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This is very touching, the emotion is wondrefuly described. It flowed very well, and you certainly captured the pleas of a young child. A job well done. At first, I thought the 'grave' comment was a bit rushed and too sudden, but once I read it over, it seemed that the entire poem was leading up to that moment. Some of the rhymes I thought were brilliant, they flowed in a rhythmic pattern... it wasn't until the end that I became skeptical, but that feeling went away after I read it again. All in all, it's great.
SilentScar -
excellent choice
I LOVE IT!!!!!This is so me and you just dont know it, it seems that no one notices my accomplishments but only my downfalls, I do crave attention and thats because I am the baby of the family, thank you so much for this it made my day I love the rhyme scheme and the age potrayal excellent excellent write
thank you again.
~Jenna -
In today's world we replace affection with material things. Praise is rarely given. It is very sad. This was an adorable write. I enjoyed it.
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awesome
wow! and i just sit here in awww.. this is a fantastic poem.. so beaautfil.. and its writtewn from an excellent point of view.. wow.. by each poem i read from you... they just become more amazing it seems... great job!
*giovanna -
ooooo this is lovely! Lovely lovely lovely....that's how I feel sometimes. *sigh*
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I agree as people we want to be noticed and liked.Thats why most children act out and get into fights because they were neglected by so many.They grow up trying to be get attention and earn others affection till they'll do anything to get it.Well I really liked this.The point comes across clearly.It flowed nicely.Very well done.
~Ro'Shawn
Da gyrl magnet -
awwwwww this is really sad, but it's soooo sweet!!! I liked reading this, and I wanted to cry for a minute... your emotion carries really well in this poem.. and this is a fantastic job considering that you are trying to write from someone else's life experiences... I hope that you do good in the contest... loved it!
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