Have you seen my daughter?
My one and only daughter?
She has left and gone away.
I'm desperate to find her someday.
Daughter of my own heart,
Come home for a new start.
It doesn't matter what you've done.
It doesn't matter what you've become.
Daughter, I know you wanted to be free.
Please, oh please, come home to me.
I know freedom came at a price.
The world is evil though it may entice.
Daughter of my own heart,
Come home for a new start.
It doesn't matter what you've done.
It doesn't matter what you've become.
See my picture on every wall,
Posted on every doorway in every hall.
Know that I love you and always will.
Know my words are true and my love is real.
Daughter of my own heart,
Come home for a new start.
It doesn't matter what you've done.
It doesn't matter what you've become.
Oh my dearest daughter don't say a word.
Don't think I haven't already heard.
All is forgiven and forgotten this day.
So don't you fret and don't you dismay.
Daughter of my own heart,
You've come home for a new start.
It doesn't matter what you've done.
It doesn't matter what you've become.
Author notes
This story was done as a drama in church. I think it is based on a true story.
Written July 13th, 2004
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Thanks for taking the time to read and to compare both pieces.
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You're right the second one is much better. This one is good though, although the second one is much deeper and more insightful! Great job.
~*Destiny*~ -
the improvements make it alot nicer on the eyes. thanks for taking my advice.
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I revised this piece and created a much longer version. If you get a chance, I would appreciate your opinion. allpoetry.com/Poem/732094
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Thanks. If you get a chance, let me know what you think of the much longer revised version allpoetry.com/Poem/732094 I took waterwings x advice and tried to improve it.
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I like the lines that where repeated in this as it gave that desperate feeling to it as the mother searches for her daughter to come home. Another wonderfully written piece
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You are right. The rhyming scheme is simple and it is very repetitive. It could also use better imagery. The receptiveness is trying to capture the mother's desperation, but it probabablly could be portrayed in a better way.
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i think he made this piece worth reading. that piece had no stimulative value that kept me reading other than when i saw it was just repeated in different order, i knew i had read it all, in all of it's pathetic simplicity. and the title is also confusing, wouldn't it be the daughters picture posted all over the city? oh and i didn't like the rhyming. it was all too easy and simple, and with a piece like this there is so much room for imagery.
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Heartfelt writing at its' best
Dear Melphleg,
This was a poem for, and of the heart.Very nicely written.
How we all must wish that it were fiction!!!
Regards From Las Vegas,
John(bluffininlv)
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Beautiful, melphleg...haunting...tragic voice throughout, crying out for lost lambs...well done!...swan
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What a wonderful poet comment.
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to wallpaper the world with that familiar face that just might draw back the one that fled it in haste and now lives on the waste of others, hoping for just a glimpse of her mother, and then walla!!! there she is on every pole and wall and corner, and the prodigal daughter needs not be prodded to return home to such loving arms from the cold of a cardboard box and dumpster dinners.........Artis
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