I am a tiny seed.
Give me water to feed.
Put me in protective soil.
Show me affection and attention.
Security.
I am bread you knead.
Mold me in your hands.
Let me rise on my own
And mold me some more.
Guiding.
I am caged and want to be freed.
Do not clip my wings.
Let me fly a little
And I'll come home.
Coaching.
I am the blood you bleed,
Your very life and joy
Poured out of your flesh
Onto the earth.
Enriching.
I am a star gloried
Lighting the sky
Shining your refection
On the ocean of life.
Rising.
I am the seed become bread.
I am a freed bird who drew blood
To rise to be the star you dreamed.
I am a baby.
I am a child.
I am a teen.
I am an adult.
I am your future.
Author notes
I tried to copy a style I used in another poem. I want to thank Duana who encouged using the 'style' again. I believe parenting needs to change with each stage of life. You can't treat a teen like a child.
For the contest "bite me"
Written July 29th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Show me what you got ! by DarkShdwGuy.
400 points, ended October 10, 2004, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
Excellent
Oh my goodness, This is so true. I love your poem.
With out all of the above ingredients, one will
surely become a weed. Then of course, will have to
under go LOTS of TLC to bloom the way it was meant to be.
Very lovely indeed! I applaud this poem!
Yertweetyness
Tweet Tweet 
-
Beautifully done
Very beautifully done..Being a mom this was so true...Thank you for sharing...Helen -
wow, that was a very sweet write my dear I very much enjoyed the way you wrote it. Keep up the good work and goodluck in the contest!
-Olivia,
Edited on Oct 09, 11:21 p.m. because 'i forgot to sign my name'.
-
That poem was AWESOME... i got goosebumps every verse! I loved it so much i think i'll show that to my mom. Nice job! Good luck in the contest!
-
very well done...you did an excellent job on this piece..overall it was easy to read .
Now this is just my thought but this line does not seem to fit
(I am a star gloried)..I reread it using this line
(I am a star of glory)and it read more smoothly.Again just my thought.
thank you for entering ...good luck.
Roger -
Very touching and accurate, Awesome!
-
This piece needs to be sewn on a tapestry and hung on every single school classroom door. Excellent in content and statement.
I like how you brought each thread back around to give closure and hope. A respectful piece...yes indeedy! Thank you so much. Warmly, CookieZeal/DB -
I love the imagery in this poem. i am so jealous!!! i cant use similes and metaphors if my life depends on it! i look forward to reading more of you're work.
-
The last stanza hee is just superb! The phases of life - all so different from the previous, even though they blend us into the person we become,changes can be wrought by how we are treated by our parents in particular.
Well written and good luck
~Von~ -
This is another poem with great advice for raising children and our children are our future. To the whole world the way we raise our children will shape the world to come.
Thank you for entering the contest! -
A Very Heartfelt Poem
This is such a beautiful poem, all new parents should read it. Thank you so much for the nice comment on God's Army. I changed the line you suggested and it does flow much better. I only started writing poetry last month and I am still learning. I appreciate any advice you offer. I basicly write from my heart and life's experiences. Thank you and take care. WONDERFUL POEM P.S. I love Neil Diamond too. I grew up with his wonderful music.
Edited on Aug 01, 5:39 because ''. -
A very weel thought out poem with some wonderfully creative ideas in writing. Thanks for entering, good luck and best of wishes as well... ~genielassie~
-
When I saw that you had written a piece for this contest, I couldn't resist the urge to read it. I knew coming from your keyboard it would be beautiful and thought provoking. Even your Author's Comment is so right on target. Good luck in the contest! You have made a wonderful contribution.
-
Thank you for your comments and for reading. You inspired the poem that inspired this style, so thank you for the inspiration
-
Prolific Beauty
HERE I IS!!! Finally!!!...what's THIS?!?
Melphleg, THESE LINES!!! wowzer. ABSOLUTELY ENCHANTING...'I am bread you knead. Mold me in your hands. Let me rise on my own.'...'Do not clip my wings. Let me fly a little and I'll come home.'...'Shining your reflection on the ocean of life. Rising.'....'I am the seed become bread.'...WOW. WOW!!!...Very, very beautiful; LOVE!!! these lines I've quoted here...Well. I think you pretty well have it covered...both in style & content...VERY impressive!!! I LIKE. (YEA!!! Duana!!! Thanks for the encouragement!!!)...yes...elegant, eloquent, innocence through maturity's eyes...BRAVO, MELPHLEG!!! Ya done REAL GOOD!!! ~~~swan~~~
-
Fantastic job. I myself am not a parent, but I can see what you mean. Especially the third stanza. Absolute brilliance. Would you mind very much if I maybe sent it to my mother? It'd be via email so it might get spread on from there.
Amanda -
I am really honored by your comment especially coming from a parent. Thanks so much.
-
wow. This is brilliant. It really is. I hope that you try to get this published in parenting magazines and the like, because it is that good, and would be appreciated by mothers everywhere. Just think- every fridge in America with this poem on it! Really great guidance for the parent. You couldn't have written this in a better style!!!
-
All I have to say is...wow.
-
its amazing. Its exactly how a child is or how it is raised. it is an image of their parent.
-
This is an amzing view of the promise of our collective futures. They all rest in the hands of the worlds children. Great vision expressed here. Good luck in the contest. Blessings and best wishes, richard
-
Bob, i really like this. I haven't seen a poem in this style before but it has a great feel to it. I love the analogies you used for each stage of life, they fit completely. Especially this:
I am caged and want to be freed.
Do not clip my wings.
Let me fly a little
And I'll come home.
Couching.
As a teenager myself i can really relate to it. I also have to agree with you authors comments as well. I completely agree. All in all i think this is a fantastic poem. Good luck in the contest!
Meg. -
I agree with your comments, I must say first off. I liked your poem because it's like something I have thought about my son many times before. I really think you did a great job on this. Good luck to you in the contest. This is great!
~*Destiny*~
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
10 old applause
