The doctor called..next please
I sat there holding my knees
He called out my name
I blushed and hid my head in shame
He said "Well now Dear"
How long is it since your last smear
Hop on the couch..he said in a whirl
"Come on now my girl"
I tried to hide my fear
How I hate to have a smear
I didn't want be his girl at all
" Turn over Dear..move your legs to the wall"
Then it comes....so very bold
The speculum of "death" so bloody cold!!
All that pulling and pushing
Am I weeing..is it gushing??
"There, there" he says..all done
He's talking not to my face..but my bum!!
I think a fitting punishment for men
Would be to have a wire brush up their willy now and then.....
So they would know just what it is ..this smear
They would hold the thing that they treasure most dear!!
For we women have to have a regular pap
So shut up you men..and stop talking crap
Author notes
Written July 8th, 2002
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1 - 13 of 13
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lol this was so funny and so true i am real;y lol
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lol...
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You'd think that with modern technoligy that they would come up with something that is less embarrassing and uncomfortable for us wouldn't you? I mean c'mon!!
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...but as a female doctor said to my cousin once: "it's smaller than what normally goes up there"...not that I know anything about that...used to go out with a gynaecologist, and god they know some dirty stories!
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neutral
Please send a copy of this to all the male GPs in the UK! Thanks so much - someone had to write it and you did! Aren't there any similarly nasty tests carried out on men? -
neutral
Most women can relate to this, Male Doctors know nothing of being on the 'other side', so I vote for your suggestion Wire Brush with a touch of Dettol (borrowed from Billy Connolly) -
excellent
oyyyyyyyyy! LOL bloody cold it is too, Chilly..I swear they keep the speculum in the freezer here. ~~~Val -
neutral
OH HELL yeah, roflmao.. -
Lmao guys ..was a gynae nurse for 12 years so have a lotta knowledge on this one..and doctors lack of manners and what COLD IS..LMAO..~gill~
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neutral
I hear ya too. Humurous poem about a horrible subject! -
don't touch it!
ouch! no thanks to wire lol :O)
*warms hands* now this won't hurt a bit :) -
excellent
blimey, I just got my reminder today too...... -
neutral
yep, yep, I hear you on this one.
The American Version: heehee!
scoot your butt down
to the edge of the table
slide your feet into the stirrups
and spread your legs wide
OMG, just lost all my pride
~~~get ready, set, here we go~~~
all I can say is 'WHOA!'
pinch, pinch, OUCH!
(why couldn't this feel just a little like sex)
excellent!
~Gayla~
Edited by Smiling Eyes on right now because 'forgot the verdict - DUH!'.
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