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Naked in words

Missing image

 

i am here, a wallflower
intricately framed in words 
as you take a look at me... closer
i am here naked in words
i wear nothing...
i had let my hair fall
i took my clothes off
for you to see
the real me
flaunting my flaws
and my imperfections
as my emotions are raw 
stripped and ripped in nudity
i shred the superficial side of me
and my outfit is my soul
shed down to its vulnerable form

Anna Lee
dec 14, '04
"TWIST" by Micheal J Austin

Author notes

just writing what i feel...

i am not perfect
i only write what i feel




Written December 14th, 2004

In a list

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • ficklefeather
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    Anna Lee, hi!

    Nicely done.

    Here are a few things I got to play around with:

    i am here like a wallflower
    -how do you feel if it were,
    "I am here, a wallflower"

    also, I am wearing nothing, to:
    "I wear nothing"

    i had let my hair fall down
    -for this bit, try taking out "down"
    "i had let my hair fall "
    see, read and feel how it fits with the whole thing.

    Lovely shape of the poem itself, too.
    Hourglass - like a woman's body.


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Gyn,

      Nice to see you back again...

      Thank you for the revisions...When I am writing...I somehow wish you and Kannika are here to help me with my grammar dilemma yay lol.

      Salamat uli.

  • limitededition
    August 24
    Edit | Reply

    Naked in words

    Very good--nice flow-so vulnerable.
    bw

  • Ken-Maverick gold member
    August 7
    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    I'm not gonna say nothing coz i wont be doin this justice

  • Deveraux
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is highly INTENSE!!!!...EXCELLENT job with your description and your passion is incredible...overall it is a masterpiece!!! I loved it...


  • Quiet Thunder gold member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply

    You just made my Frrday!

    Excellent feeling! I WILL add you to my favorites. DO NOT stop writing please. I will stay tuned... KC

  • morbidmetals
    January 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great poem, it really captures and shows the theme. i think it's absolutly wonderful.
  • ecrivain01 silver member
    January 1, 2005
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    I'm surprised somebody hasn't tried to censor this since you have dared to use the words nude in this. It's getting to the point where people on the right are so uptight they will carp about anything. I've often wondered if some of them don't try to showeer with their clothes on.

    Anyway, good job.

    Happy New Year.

    Jim Dunlap

  • lilvampire
    December 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good
    as it shows you've wrote from deep within and knowing what your flaws are

  • illusi0ns
    December 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    how lovely! and i like it how your poem takes the shape of a curvery body, and how you sai d'flaunting my flaws' its just lovely!

    -Sancia-
    VvvvvV

  • Yemassee silver member
    December 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That is what we do here. We strip ourselves bare for all to see, our frailities, insecurities, fears--but there is a good side to that--we also get to see the good sides of people--what makes them tick. Of course that only counts for everyone else--I'm just a clown who performs for a few scant laughs--no truths can be gleaned from that...

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much Matthew...yes admittedly, i do worry sometimes and thank you for making me feel good about myself

    Anna Lee

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much sir Stef...it feels good to have you here...missing you here.

    Anna Lee
    Edited on Dec 21, 3:50 because ''.
  • SaintMatthew
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Being naked, for most, is a terrifying experience. At least in public, or in front of someone they havent grown comfortable with. It's being totaly defenseless. Totaly honest in a way, hiding nothing. You worry about being judged, disliked in some way. But it can also be a liberating experience too. When you find that person who loves you, flaws included, it sets you free of all those fears. Wonderful poem Anna

  • ca ne fait rien
    December 20, 2004
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    Not perfect? Well I am certainly not perfect- I can't be I can't see a tiny thing that detracts from the essence of being you have created with your poem.

  • Azazel
    December 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written, too often people clothe themselves in masks to hide the real person beneath, Also how you tied the picture above the text with the text itself was impressive, an extra garnish on words that are attractive enough by themselves, Again very well done.
  • black-rainbow
    December 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this was very touching. on so many different levels showing someone the naked you is extremly hard to do. be it emotions, feelings, thoughts, words or body...all very hard to do. i also like the shape of the poem, kinda like an hourglass, like a womans body, which goes along with the image above. very well thought out. good job.

    ps. thanks for you comment on my poem 'little folded paper boats'
    pps. you're from the phillipines, my mom is half filipino. just thought it was kinda a cool coinscience.

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much Miykie for your comment...this was one of the wonderful comment I've receive here...i feel fortunate today.

    thank you once again


    Anna Lee

  • Miykie
    December 17, 2004
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    I love th hour glass fel of the write...that alone made me read the poem because, coupled with the title was its own work of art...You are already kicking major glutes! OK! Now I'm goin' in!...

    ooooooooh There was that philosopher Keiekegaard who talked about subjectivity is the truth, he could not have been more right here because yu let it all out for all to see, since what is...is! WHOO-HOO! and how beautiful it is! I love the cadence, the superlative word placement, the concept...The package gave me a jolt of YUM! to last me today! Your poem has that Zen strength where it tells you what is...OUTSTANDING! You rock!

  • SuZyCuE
    December 17, 2004
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    This is a beautifuly written poem, so open and honest. The best poems come from what you feel, and you did this one beautifuly :-)

  • jantastic gold member
    December 16, 2004
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    This is a wonderful expression of baring yourself, as we all do in our writing, we put it out there for all to see and criticize. The balance in this is wonderful, it doesn't feel despeate in it's self-doubt, there is an underlying sense of confidence. No need to doubt your writing in any way. This is wonderful. Thank you for baring yourself.
  • ack1013
    December 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    excellent piece- stunning and descriptive imagery. thats what poetry really is, isnt it? exposing ourselves, exposing what we truly need and want and feel to the whole world... the idea of being nakid in words is original and compelling.
  • the chase
    December 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I didn't see hourglass at first, I saw the shape of a body. And I love how this sets a mood of vulnerability. [sp?]
    "i am here like a wallflower
    intricately framed in words" -I love that
    Ugh, I just looked up and saw someone else used vuln..big v word. Grr, hehe oh well!

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 15, 2004
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    thank you sir for the wonderful comments...I am learning a lot here

    I saw your name at DeBracey's page...sir Stefan...you are both wonderful writers.

  • passionvine
    December 15, 2004
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    This is a very lovely poem that is economic and spare in its use of language. The shape of the poem matches the shape of what one miagines a naked soul to be. It expresses both the courage and vunerability of the writer in one breath. Having read a previous comment, I would like to note for you that one of the master novelists in English, Joseph Conrad, also wrote in the language that was not his first. You also exhibit a mastery that many native speakers/writers lack.

    Peace

    passionvine

  • puzzledone121
    December 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    very nice... laying yourself bare as in being true to yourself and everyone else...

  • bulletimperio
    December 14, 2004
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    Hey buddy! I loved it and I could say...very well done! This is perfect for me, substantial piece and I could very well sense where it came from, deeply touched my world. It made me really proud being 'Pinoy'. Have a nice day!

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 14, 2004
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    Thank you Steve,

    for telling me...this is one of my best so far...
    and the hourglass shape. I was also surprised myself. It came out that way...

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Nicolette

    for your kind words...they cheer me up...

    I wrote it because I am beginning to question my writing abilty...(it's hard when English is not really your language)Being here somehow made me feel it. I wrote what I feel about it...(I feel like I can't write beautiful this time)...sigh


  • MariGoes gold member
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I hope you always write what you feel, you do expresses your feeling so very well!
    This one is very good Anna, your emotions are so clear, you do strip your soul and lay it on your words.
    Keep on doing what you do, you provide us great reads!

    Kisses,
    Mari

  • quietly burning
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    is it my imagination or did you shape this poem like an hourglass ?

    i think this is one of your best so far. As writers and human beings, we have to be naked in our emotions in order to deeply communicate. I think u have done a splendid job on this piece.

  • Nicolette gold member
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Lily unfolding her beauty...

    Anna Lee...you always write from the soul - there is no other way with you...and in fact no other way to produce heart-felt poetry. I think you are more than a wallflower - more like a beautiful lily unfolding her petals from the depths of her sou to reveal the true beauty within....

    Your emotions is sincere and honest and as you've said yourself "shred the superficial side of me". The Anna Lee I got to know is the beautiful lily - delicate and fragrant! And yes, none of us are perfect - but this is a beautiful poem!

    ~ Nicolette

  • gingergreentea
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is, by all means, ASTIG! haha. I was going to pick a favorite line but failed. this is truly amazing. the honesty, the 'nudity' as you called it, was very evident. and the choice of words and the rhythm...wow is all I can say. I especially liked 'stripped and ripped', somehow made a very big impact on me as I read it, such a strange musicality to the words. I admire you for putting in such emotions into a very short write. this is really amazing.

    Keep writing

    Kannika

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you proph...

    you made me smile...like this

    miss ya here
    thank you for wonderful comments
    and ya...i like you as you are

    Anna Lee

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Anna luv .... then write ....

    i luve the feeling of purity in this piece, a "this is me, and that's all" ..... attaining such is an importamt step in perfecting what can never be perfected ..... hun, i'm not perfect either, and hell, i cdon't care smile

    i really enjoyed this hun ..... great work
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